Monday, September 30, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Days 21-22-23

What did you consume?

I dove head first off the wagon due to my catastrophic mental and emotional state. I knew I was an emotional eater, but sheesh. I don't understand why this diet is making me feel constantly angry or on the verge of tears. So, this weekend I had a Philly cheesesteak wrap, curly fries and a cookies n' cream Molly's Cupcake.

Sunday I had a work conference. For those of you unfamiliar with marketing conferences, they revolve exclusively around food and drink. It's rude to invite a client out for a drink and not have one yourself. Or out to pizza at their request and be the only one with salad as the rest of the table shares pies. So yesterday, at the beginning of an annual marketing conference, I had 1 drink, 1 serving of pizza and 1 serving of no-no appetizers. This is how the next two days will go as we'll but, since I was going to totally quit this challenge on Friday, I care not at all.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes, full exercise and mobility points over the weekend.

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle challenges and how do you feel?

Yes. Shitty.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Minus 6 points this weekend. Ate some questionable-okay, illegal, sweet potato chips with cane sugar juice and I'm not counting it because at least it wasn't another cupcake.

5) How do you feel?

Emotionally fragile. "We'll just don't do the WLC," you recommend and my fiancé pleaded. But that's not an option.

Not only do I refuse to fail at this but I can't allow myself to cheat willy-nilly like a lot of other people are doing. That's not a challenge. It's not a Whole Life Balance program. Also, my fiancé is really serious about it, is first place in our gym and top 50 in the world. Like it or not, I'm along for the ride. I'll engage in serious self-loathing if he's killing this and I can't go a weekend without food therapy.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 20

Thursday, September 27th

1) What did you consume?

An omelet with bacon and veggies, a bowl of fruit, a banana, >2 handfuls of almonds, and and awesome plate of "nachos" with veggie chips, spicy chicken, black beans, salsa and guacamole. It was fast and easy for a change.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes - Went to CrossFit and did a little bit of mobility.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how did it feel?

Yes, and I woke up exhausted.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

The bacon in my omelet should cost me a point, but I get it so infrequently, and it was so necessary mentally, that I'm not docking a point. It's just a tablespoon worth of bacon. Get over it.

5) How do you feel?

I'm emotionally volatile. A ticking time bomb. I feel like this:

Not the excited, scared or addicted to caffeine pills part, but the generally swift to collapse into blubbering idiocy (see definition here). If I keep it up I may not have a fiancé to speak of anymore.

I'm vehemently resentful of the lifestyle changes, especially those that are unnecessary. "Hey, let's be social and engage in a non-drinking activity with a friend we haven't seen in a while" is immediately followed by "Ooh, but how are we going to get a workout in (having already gone to CrossFit 3 days in a row)?" 

We'll you know what, Whole Life Challenge? My hips and shoulders are gassed from an intense 3 day cycle that followed an intense 5 day cycle, I've been working out regularly, and you can take your 10 minutes and shove it.

Methinks the toll on my mental and emotional well being may not be worth the physical benefits of the WLC, which mostly I haven't seen yet anyway.

Cumulative points lost: -4

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 19

Wednesday, September 26th

1) What did you consume?

The banana, a handful of almonds, chicken, cauliflower hash, a larabar, 2 hard boiled eggs, and a little bit of a taco salad/bowl from Flacos Tacos that I gave most of to my ravenous, grumpy fiancé (it was his turn to low-blood sugar rage).

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes, I went to CrossFit and did minimal mobility.

3) Did you cheat/lie?

I had a another forkful of apple pie and 5 pieces of candy corn. I know, I know–I'm sliding. I'll dock a point to teach myself a lesson. (Here is what I just deleted in a moment of good conscience: "I'm not docking a point, but I won't do it again. I promise.")

4) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how did it feel?

I slept a full 7 hours and am still tired as always.

5) How do you feel?

Conversations like these are what my life has come to:

I stepped on the scale yesterday, granted a different one than I weighed-in on at the start of the challenge, and without adjusting for scale variance, I've lost 8 lbs. And I don't even care. As a former weight-obsessed anorexoid, if that's not representative of my mentality towards this challenge, I don't know what is.

In other news, I forgot to record yesterday's points and apparently the points that I did record for the day before also didn't register, either due to the second confirmation screen or my ADHD at work. So, I'm pretty much altogether abandoning tracking my score on the WLC website. I don't know why they impose such rigid time constraints anyway. Instead, I will be tracking my points lost on this blog. I am also giving myself all 24 bonus points available throughout the challenge for journaling because, obviously, I'm keeping up with that. Currently I am at -4 points. Bonus points will be applied at the end.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 18

Tuesday, September 24th

1) What did you consume?

A banana bread Larabar for breakfast, some chicken and cauliflower hash for lunch, a small bowl of fruit in the afternoon, a handful of nuts pre-workout and shredded beef on a fried egg with veggie chips and guacamole. A textbook day. Minus the forkful of apple pie...

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Good lord, I was active enough for two days. I ran just under two miles to CrossFit. It was truly "Tough Times With Tommy," our motto for when a particular coach is leading us. We did easily 20 minutes of hip and shoulder mobility. Then we did Super Grace, which is 30 squat clean and jerks for max load in a 15 minute cap. So at the end, your score is reps x weight.

THEN just for a "cool down" exercise, we rowed 2000 meters, stopping every 500 meters to do 10 strict pull-ups. Real "cool."

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how does it feel?

Yes, but my body wants more sleep than 7 hours, which is really needy and selfish of it. It's going to be grateful for what's is given and it's going to like it.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

A forkful of apple pie and gum. No points deducted.

5) How do you feel?

I'm finally feeling a little better today–It's definitely easier on weekdays to comply with the WLC and not think so much about it. I also felt great because my workouts really affect my mood and fortunately I felt awesome about my workouts yesterday. Not only did I feel strong but I sustained a high volume of work over a pretty long time.

The nutrition piece has become a count down to my friends' wedding on October 13th, which is going to be an epic cheat day. I'm already salivating from the level of beautiful gluttony that will take place. I hope Sarah and John (bride and groom to be) have planned for an adequate amount of cake. And by adequate, I mean a whole second one for me.

I've seen people's Whole Life Challenge reflections where they are proud of achieving a "perfect cheat day" where they lost all 5 nutrition points, but not a point more. Their pride is shameful. How dare they waste a cheat day by using only 5 points. Once you spend the 5, you can't dip negative for the day, so
for the love of god, KEEP GOING. Let's not be all "noble" about it. You're only hurting yourselves.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 17

Monday, September 23rd

1) What did you consume?

A Larabar, too many nuts again, a barbacoa salad from Chipotle, a banana, some grapes and pumpkin pancakes.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Not much aside from the commute walk and stretching for maybe 2 minutes. But I'm giving myself full activity points because I'm Whole Life Bitter.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how do you feel?

Yes. This one is easy because I usually get 7 hours of sleep anyway. I unintentionally abandoned the volume of water I was drinking for the last challenge and feel dehydrated. Will pick that back up.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Yes. I had a forkful (not 3!) of delicious apple pie from our office's senior art director/master baker. Not counting it. It was a cheat for flavor not for substance. And believe me, you'll know when I cheat for substance.

I also just realized, though I guess it should have been obvious, that the coffee brewed at work, which is sometimes French Vanilla or Hazelnut, is an illegal substance due to the natural flavors used in the grounds. Oh well, #CantStopWontStop. I will just lead myself to believe that the fine people at Dunkin' Donuts grind their coffee with fresh, organic vanilla beans and hazelnuts...and also glazed chocolate donuts. That's a flavor. And I want it.

5) How do you feel?

Grumpy Cat Whole Life Challenge

Monday, September 23, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Days 14-15-16

The Second Full Weekend in Hell

1) What did you consume?

Generally more of the same–Larabars, nuts, fruit, meat and vegetables. Sampled some WLC approved dishes from friends including baked plantains, mashed cauliflower and bacon wrapped dates (yum).  I also remembered to take supplements over the weekend.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes, I did CrossFit all three days. On Sunday, the gym coordinated a special workout in a local park for the Whole Life Challenge participants where they gave out some awards to help motivate people through the challenge. I won the anti-spirit award.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle objective and how do you feel?

The new lifestyle objective is to get 7 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period. So, I'm confused. Do they want me to stay up all night cooking and cleaning to comply with the nutrition rules, or do they want me to sleep heartily?

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Yes. Apparently 3 truly is a magic number, yes it is. I can sing the rest of that song for you because I was in School House Rock Live Jr, the musical, in high school. Real cool kid. Real cool. 

I say that because I'm letting myself get away with cheating in quantities of 3 without docking a point. As if that's enough for me to feel at peace with the lie. For example, what's 3 pieces of candy corn (again), or surely I can consume just 3 regular Scoops tortilla chips to eat this guacamole before I switch over to veggies (whoops). It's enough for me to get the flavor of what I'm craving while enabling me to make anyone calling me out feel foolishly oppressive. 

I really don't feel bad about these antics. It's enough for me to get over my FOMO syndrome (fear of missing out) without truly cheating. I mean, otherwise everyone would know how good the candy corn tastes but me–Not fair. What if this batch of Scoops tastes different and somehow better than the last time?

I tried to cheat & dock a point with this little number 
in an apex of rage. Sold out. Such was my weekend.

5) How do you feel?

Like this:

This weekend, Sunday in particular, was terrible. Aside from assigning it the pseudonym the "No Life Challenge," where we do things like play Yahtzee while other people get to do things like drink and be merry (Jerks. I'm looking at you Alex N.), I felt like crap all day Sunday. Cloudy, tired, headachy–Once again feeling hungover without the fun that should precede it.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 13

Thursday, September 19th

1) What did you consume?

The usual suspects for breakfast/snacks. The pumpkin cookies in my office we're replaced (consumed by normal people with their human right to eat whatever they goddamn please) with candy corn.

I admit that I had 3 morsels of candy corn, and high fructose corn syrup never tasted so good. But I immediately stopped myself and turned to my chicken and baby kale salad that I brought for lunch. It tasted really earthy. I'd prefer it tasted like high fructose corn syrup. Capped the day off with shredded beef and egg and sweet potato and beet chips.

2-3-4) Activity, Lifestyle, Cheating?

Worked out and badly ripped my hand doing toes-to-bar. Drank water. Cheated with candy corn and docked no points because it was only three pieces.

5) How do you feel?

Jesus-It's only day thirteen? This Whole Life Challenge is abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous. All I do is cook and clean and cook and clean. I'm waiting for someone to call "Cinderella!!" to me out of the shadows. I'm a slave to this lifestyle after 12 hour days and there is no time to relax or wind down when I get home. It's not that I have a problem with the food I'm eating. It's fine. It's just that it takes quadruple the time to produce and clean and doesn't taste nearly as good as the store bought stuff. Any Paleo-ite who tries to tell you that it all tastes better is full of shit. And deep down they know it.

Last night, the fiancé–who has a name, and it's Matt–and I were cooking because, what else is new? Anyone who has met me for 5 seconds would not be surprised that I don't have a homemaker's kitchen. So there we were, huddled in our kitchen alcove with minimal counter space, 1 outlet, 2 food processors, ingredients for 2 recipes and 0 dishwashers. We were bumping into each other with every move. Shit was falling off the counters.

When we finally finished cooking by 11:30PM, my kitchen looked like a hurricane had hit it. Cocoa powder sprayed across the counter. Jalapeño seeds on the floor. Dirty dishes everywhere. We began the cleaning process and I seared my freshly ripped hand with every dish washed. Occasionally even yelping in pain. On one such occasion, I dropped a glass baking dish with a loud crash into the sink. Thankfully it didn't break, but I did. Unless the remaining few dishes were going to get cleaned with the pure venom I was spewing, they were staying dirty overnight.

As we're turing in, Matt said, "You already look like you're leaning-out."

"Really? Thanks," I mumbled.

"Does that make it worth it?" he tried.

"Not at all."

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 12

Wednesday, September 18th

1) What did you consume?

A veggie omelet, a banana, a Larabar a handful of nuts and a shredded beef salad. I also thought it would be okay to dock a point to have a delicious pumpkin spice cookie that our office's senior art director/master chef brought into work (thanks, Linda!). The universe repaid me by making me forget to record my score for the day prior. Ugh.

2) We're you active and what did you do?

AMRAP laundry and cleaning house for ~4 hours. Scored 5 loads, 1 bag full of shoes to donate and a 1/2 reorganized kitchen. I'm definitely counting it.

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle objective?

Barely squeaked by today, but I did it.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

For the balsamic dressing I made for the salad, I needed a couple cloves of garlic. I was too in a hurry to win my laundry WOD that I used the stuff in a jar, which has phosphoric acid. It's such a small quantity I didn't count it (nor did I tell my WLC-militant fiancé-Whoops). But I'm sure I could definitely score some phosphoric acid somewhere, put it in my cooking cabinet, and make the whole thing legal. That's how this works right? As long as it's in your cabinet? I'll find some sodium nitrate while I'm at it to legalize my bacon.

I think I also chewed gum.

How do you feel?

I am super annoyed that I've now missed 2 days of full points. So now the cookie I ate is 3/22 points to makeup, and I'll never recover to full points, which I otherwise could have accomplished. "Christy, that's not the point of this," you say. Don't care. This is a competition that I paid $50 for, and I'd prefer not to be such a screw-up. Oh well, I guess.

I've hit a bit of plateau in fat-loss and just feeling fitter. Probably because due to the bevy of  nuts I've been consuming. I feel confident that it will resume at some point, though, and I don't feel any worse. Except for the mental anxiety of not getting points, which is stupid, like this Challenge. It's stupid. Everything's stupid. I hate it.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 11

Tuesday, September 17th

1) What did you consume?

A veggie omelet, a banana, a Larabar, some grapes, some shredded beef and sweet potatoes  from the crockpot (thankfully, it turned out tasting pretty good) and just a COUPLE nuts. Couldn't help it. I'm addicted and hungry. Is there a program for nut addiction?

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Nancy! My least favorite CrossFit benchmark to-date. I'd rather engage in all forms of medieval torture simultaneously than do Nancy. It's 5 rounds of a 400m run and 15 overhead squats at 65#. Due to my defective face, which also gives me defective shoulder mobility, I feel like I'm squatting in slow motion to maintain stability. Also, I suck and running. And I'm a baby. I PR'ed by a minute and a half, but that's kind of like being the skinniest kid at fat camp.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge?


4) Did you cheat/lie?

Those couple of nuts felt like cheating because I had sworn them off after two days of hangovers. And I chewed gum. It was strawberry kiwi flavored and I'm not sorry–I'm playing nut defense over here. You gotta make sacrifices.

5) How do you feel?

Even though my time is only approaching respectable, the PR on Nancy felt good. Also, I learned how to clime a rope for the first time ever! A huge former fat kid victory!! (No, really obese little girl, you have to try once...Hmm maybe just the sit and reach for you, then).

Truth be told, either of those things could have happened sans the WLC, but it certainly didn't hurt. I'd say the level of vomit creeping into the back of my throat during Nancy decreased roughly 60%, which I can probably attribute to the WLC. It's motivation to move on either way.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 10

Monday, September 16th

1) What did you consume?

Office Torture, Part 3
A Larabar, some grapes, more of the avocado chicken salad, way. too. many. nuts., another Larabar and a small piece of chicken. Oh, and a couple small pieces of bacon that the fiancé was cooking.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

The WOD (workout of the day) was jumping lunges, kettle bell swings, pushups and pullups. I also ran 1.75 miles to the gym before the workout and did mobility as part of the warmup.

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle challenge and how do you feel?


4) Did you cheat/lie?


5) How do you feel?

I am hungover.

From nuts.

And that's a whole lot of bullshit.

I experienced none of the fun that precedes a normal hangover, I had a headache all morning yesterday and have one again as I'm writing this today (Tuesday). Time to cut myself off for a couple of days.

I also fell into a fury briefly last night as, like a good little WLC soldier, I was trying to set up a roast in the crock pot to cook the next day. Five noncompliant recipes later and I finally landed on one that I thought would work. Alas, it turned out that the organic beef broth I had purchased last week at Trader Joes is an illegal substance. So there I stood at 10:45 PM in my kitchen, back to the recipe drawing board, and all I wanted to do was whip up the crock pop and go to sleep. Cursing the WLC the whole time and murmuring the start of eloquent, yet rageful hate mail under my breath, I finally found another recipe. We'll be eating it tonight for dinner. And it better be damn amazing.

On the upside, it's requiring less acrobatics to get into my jeans in the morning. So, that's a thing, I guess.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 9

Sunday, September 15th

1) What did you consume?

I ate eggs and a small fruit bowl for breakfast and pollo ranchero with guacamole and beans for lunch (so good it felt like cheating). On the 4 hour drive home from central Illinois (thanks IDOT for the I-55 road work), I ate nuts (too many), a Larabar and a banana. But really all I wanted was some of the chips, popcorn, donuts, candy or otherwise tantalizing gas station food. When we got home, I made an awesome avocado chicken salad from this recipe, amping up the spice with cayenne pepper powder and red pepper flakes. Fast and delicious, this will be a regular menu item.

2) We're you active and what did you do?

It was a CrossFit off-day and a travel day, so the fiancé and I ran the mile or so home from the rental car place after dropping it off. I then had very good intentions of mobility, but Dexter and Breaking Bad were on and, if you watch either of these thrilling shows that are wrapping up final seasons, you understand that they required my full attention. I pretty much touched my toes once before I went to bed and called it a mobility point. Meh.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle objective an how did it feel?

Yes I think so. I've stopped monitoring so closely because I consistently drink more water than required anyway. At this point, I just assume I'm doing it unless there is an obvious departure from the new norm.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Yep. Chewed gum and counted a very questionable mobility point. 

5) How do you feel?

It was a challenging weekend overall. The only thing that would have remedied my bouts of grumpiness while roaming like hungry wolves through grocery stores or driving through construction eating bird food was a Snickers bar, or maybe a KitKat. And probably donuts. Definitely white cheddar popcorn. Oh, and Chex Mix! Bold Chex Mix! Excuse me while I go wipe drool off my face before this client meeting.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 8

Saturday, September 14th

1) What did you consume?

Chicken, eggs, mixed nuts, an apple, a Larabar and banana pancakes. The pancakes were pretty good and an emergency cure for a sweet tooth.

2) were you active and what did you do?

Yes, did the morning workout and mobility before driving to central
Illinois for the weekend to visit the fiancé's family.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how did you feel?

Sure did. All good.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

No, I had to take a point off for forgetting the supplement while traveling. Makeup point 2/11 for the day not recorded.

5) How do you feel? 

Weekends are tough. We ate out, which has now become more of a challenging adventure at normal restaurants than a pleasurable social experience. I'm already sick of snacking on meat and we roamed around two grocery stores in central Illinois for two hours on a Saturday night just looking for things we could eat. This was after the fiancé's brother put this in front of us and said "Let's see who breaks first":

I thought I was going to dive bomb the table and inhale all of the cinnamon roles in less that 10 seconds. But it's at least refreshing that the beer wasn't my priority...I think?

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Whole Life Challenge day 7

Friday, September 13th

1) What did you consume?  

My kind and generous dad is supporting me in the Whole Life Challenge by stepping up his daily food gift. Today, he brought me the banana, almonds and grapes! I ate the banana, a handful of almonds and more of the adobo bacon chicken. For dinner, I went to Thai food with some friends. Going to a normal restaurant and not cheating seems impossible. I ordered something I thought was safe, but it was obviously loaded with soy sauce. Whoops.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes. The workout of the day (WOD) was 21-15-9 overhead kettlebell swings, hand-release push-ups and medicine ball slams. I also ran a mile before it started and did mobility and strength work.

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle objective?


4) Did you cheat/lie?

No. I docked a point for the unexpected soy because the amount was so great. However, since my score didn't register for Wednesday of this week because the WLC requires 143,000 confirmation screens, I will be making up that full day of points missed by not docking when I miss points on future days. So this makes 1/11 to make up.

5) How do you feel?

Even after a week of eating clean, I could tell that there was "forbidden substance" in my dinner and it made my stomach hurt and feel weird for a couple hours later. Going out to eat is going to be really rough. Which is really, really annoying when you're 26 and have a social life in Chicago. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 6

Thursday, September 12th

What did you consume?

The banana, a barbacoa salad from Chipotle, a handful of almonds, a handful of grapes, a handful of cashews (Shut up–I have small hands!) and, for dinner, delicious hot wings and a sweet potato with butter and cinnamon.

Were you active and what did you do?

It was an off-day for CrossFit so I walked extra briskly during my commute. It's roughly a 2 mile round trip and is definitely more than 10 minutes. I also rolled out my back on our new rumble roller (ouch!) and did a little PT for my jaw/neck/shoulder. I'm learning that a benefit of forcing myself to do mobility is that I wind up doing the PT I'm supposed to do everyday, which dramatically reduces my chronic pain, but I'm such a lazy, worthless human that I usually skip the PT and just grin and bear it.

Did you complete the weekly lifestyle challenge and how does it feel?

Yes - I'm on autopilot for the water and it seems like my body has adjusted to monsoon season.

Did you cheat/lie?

I can't remember if I chewed gum, so let's just assume I didn't. The chicken that I bought for dinner from Aldi, which was probably definitely horse meat anyway (slow clap for Aldi), had a label that read "minimally processed" and "natural flavors." And I was like "Hell no, self. You've got to be better than than that. Walk over to that farm next door and get the grass-fed good stuff." Then, I remembered that I live in Chicago, there is no farm next door and I was hungry urgently, so I picked up the chicken and b-lined to the checkout. No points deducted because, come on.

How do you feel?

Office Torture, Part Zwei
Some more office fun today. Our Creative Director sent out an invite for our office to lunch at the Berghoff's Oktoberfest across the street, which is always delicious and festive. He included fun body copy in the invite, but it didn't phase me nearly as much as the cookies. I think the mid-week panic I felt is subsiding and I'm feeling pretty good overall.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 5

Wednesday, September 11

What did you consume?

I call this series "Office Torture"
A veggie omelet, more of that chili (which I really didn't feel like eating), a Larabar, some cashews, a banana with almond butter and an egg with guacamole. Hmm...maybe I ate too much?

See photo for what I did NOT consume. 

Were you active and what did you do?

Felt really good about my workout today–A 10 minute AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) of 10 power cleans at 95# and 30 double unders. Got the score of the day (230 reps) and can feel my engine slowly getting better again.

Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how did it feel?

Appropriately hydrated.

Did you cheat/lie?

No. I did some light stretching for my hip and shoulder throughout the day, so I gave myself the mobility points. Maybe a little questionable but whatever.

How do you feel?

Work: "Oh hey, Christy, can you please order the sweets tray for our meeting and pick it up from Corner Bakery? Oh, wait that's mean, huh? Go anyway." [Laughter]

Me: [Bangs head on desk] "Okay, let me just give myself a concussion first so I don't understand what's happening." [Resumes banging head on desk] "Okay, I'll go now."

After the meeting, the leftovers went to the kitchen, where I proceeded to stare at  the cookies for a solid 5 minutes, willing myself to be strong. I then grabbed a stray M&M from the tray and, just as it met my lips, hurled it into the trash can, grumbled obscenities and walked dejectedly back to my desk.

Only 55 more days! (Oh my god.)

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 4

Tuesday, September 10th

Before I start complaining and moaning about how sad my life is now that I'm trying to eat well, I want to first acknowledge this day in history that marked unprecedented national pain and suffering of the real variety.

What did you consume?

The banana, Adobo Bacon Chicken (delicious, except that the sauce took about 10 times as long to make as the dish itself), a reasonable amount of cashews (FTW), a Larabar, and a burger with a fried egg and guacamole.

Were you active and what did you do?

Did the daily CrossFit workout, which was beastly. And also did mobility for my neck/shoulder/jaw and hip (thanks for the stretches, Maas).

Did you accomplish the weekly lifestyle objective and how did it feel?

Yes - Lots of water. Feels super.

Did you cheat/lie?

More gum. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

How do you feel?

I didn't eat excessively today and hopefully am starting to get used to the change in diet in terms of the decrease in sheer volume of food. However, I am seriously craving sugar. It's only day 4 and feel like I would punch a hobo for a cookie or literally steal candy from a baby. This is weird, because I don't usually consider myself a sugar-fiend. I guess since it's literally in almost every packaged food, I'm just as addicted as everyone else. Seems like a pretty cruel thing for the food industry to do. Why don't they just put nicotine in everything next. Or booze. I vote booze.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 3

Monday, September 9th

1) What did you consume?

Photo, Robb Wolf - Swear I didn't use
sour cream. Stop judging me.
Cashews. A Larabar, also with cashews. Some chili from a Robb Wolfe recipe. More cashews. And some more cashews (see a trend?). A delicious chicken kabob with mixed greens and a black bean salad from Bountiful Eatery (Thanks for the tip, Stachel). Also, another Larabar and fish oil.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

A terrible couplet workout with wallballs and toes-to-bar – My two worst movements ever, probably. A hippopautamus on the bar would have beat me. Also, 5 x 3 back squats way lighter than I wanted to because I'm having hip mobility issues. Not a great way to get back into the swing

3) Did you complete your lifestyle objective and how did it feel?

Total ounces of water (3 days): ~210
Trips to the bathroom: ~200,004

Water: 3, Christy: 0

4) Did you cheat/lie?


5) How do you feel?

Like this:

I know I'm eating too many nuts as filler but I'm just so hungry. I felt guilty for eating that last Larabar before bed, but I gave into my growling stomach/sweet tooth. Will need to just make the decision to starve myself out and kick the habit. I also feel grateful for the community of people joining me in this I needed an ASAP restaurant recommendation for dinner with a friend and the group came through when I sounded on Facebook with some good recommendations quickly.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day 2

Sunday, September 8th

1) What did you consume?

Mixed nuts, bacon & eggs, coffee, fish oil and a burger with guacamole. Is that all? That can't be all...someone get me a scale I may have lost 5 lbs already.

2) We're you active and what did you do?

Yes, the fiancé and I did a partner workout that took 23 min and I did about 10 minutes of mobility.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge?

Yes, but unfortunately I downed at least 80% of the 70 or so ounces of water right before bed. That was a mistake. I slept in 45 minute intervals for a while.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

I chewed gum (gasp. shock. horror.) And I deducted no points. Because screw you, Whole Life Challenge, you're not better than me because you don't chew gum.

5) How do you feel?

I literally spent my entire day cooking and doing dishes, then cooking more and doing more dishes. I have thusly come to the  conclusion that people who eat >80% Paleo:
  • Don't have to worry about being tempted by the cruel realm of fast food, pizza or beer, because they're always too busy cooking to see the outside world anyway.
  • Absolutely, 100% have to have dishwashers. 

We have a dishwasher. Her name is Christy. 

On a positive note, the food was delicious and produced 8 Tupperware containers full of food for the week. Still feeling optimistic for week 1.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Whole Life Challenge - Day 1

Saturday, September 7th

What did you consume today?

A steak salad from Chipotle, black coffee, raw cashews, a Larabar, a banana with some almond butter, rotisserie chicken, guacamole and hummus with peppers and cucumbers.

Were you active and what did you do? 

Did the baseline workout, which was a 800 meter run, 50 sit-ups, 75 air squats 100 hand release plate push-ups and AMRAP burpees for remainder of the 10 minute duration. Got 158 reps. No mobility.

Did you complete the lifestyle objective and how did it feel?

Yes, I drank half my body weight in ounces of water. It was easy because I usually drink a lot of water anyway.

Did you cheat/lie?

Sure did. See previous post.

How do you feel?

I weighed-in as part of the baseline. It was both optional and traumatic. As a rule, I try not to weigh myself. Ever. Because it typically serves the purpose of making me want to eat my feelings, which only perpetuates the dismorphic, neurotic pattern. This is what I like to call Former Fat Kid Syndrome.

Otherwise, I feel exited about the possible progress I can make for my health and for the behaviors I can hopefully sustain. I need to savor this and re-read it over and over. It will be gone VERY quickly.

Whole Life Challenge Day -1

September 6

What did you consume?

32oz Beer at German Fest
Cinnamon apple walnut cake (mmmmm), buffalo chicken wrap with sweet potato fries, double cheese burger, 2 glasses of wine, roughly 100 ounces of beer, and then 1/3 of a steak fajita burrito at 2AM. The fine employees of Mr. Salsa are going to miss our late night presence.

Were you active and what did you do?

I very actively karaoke'd. And very actively drank. Also very actively resisted our coach who tried to tell us that the WLC starts at midnight in attempt to truncate our fun on our last night of freedom.

Did you accomplish the weekly lifestyle objective and how did it feel?

Yes, I've effectively ate like an ass and didn't work out in preparation. It didn't feel as glorious as I anticipated. It just feels fat and sluggish. But it was all for the cause.

Did you cheat/lie?

If what our coach said is true, I drank past midnight and should deduct a point tomorrow on the first day. But everyone in the Challenge is sadder for having listened to her. I'll be deducting no points, and my God have mercy on my soul.

How do you feel?

Today, I went to the mini-mart in my building for a final candy fix. When they didn't accept card, I went to Walgreens across the street to find a line out the door. Took it as the Universe telling me that it is possible to give yourself a heart attack in 3 days and that I didn't need the candy. I think that's some kind of self defeat. I'm ready to get this thing started 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Day -2

Thursday, September 5th

1) What did you consume?

Another banana (I work with my dad, who brings me one every morning-It's quite nice), Noodles & Co Wisconsin Mac & Cheese with meatballs (told you I was going!) and a brat with chips and salsa (cleaning out the fridge). Oh, and popcorn (air popped!). And a giant snickerdoodle cookie.

Also, I had my daily gummy vitamins. Gonna miss those little squishy bastards.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Does walking to Noodles & Co count? What if I include the cumulative mile I walk to and from work? OK, I did nothing. But only because my fiancé made me.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle objective and how did it feel?

Yes, I am being as unhealthy in these final days before the WLC as possible. For example, Penne Rosa is actually my favorite dish at Noodles, but also one of their "healthiest." So I got the Wisconsin Mac - Also delicious but a far worse nutrition offender. I actually regret not getting the large size because I was done in 90 seconds. And I indulged in the Noodles snickerdoodle, one of the top 5 most delicious cookies in the world. 

Also, I kind of wanted to workout but, like I said, the fiancé told me not to so as to make himself feel better for not being able to workout today, but also to sandbag ourselves for Saturday. 

4) Did you cheat/lie?

I cheated myself by ordering the small Wisconsin Mac instead of the large.

5) How do you feel?

Really awful. I think the obnoxious 3 day lead-up is serving the purpose of actually making me want to do the Challenge and get healthy. So, that's good. I guess.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Whole Life Challenge: Day -3

This photo is part of the series I call "End of Days"

Wednesday, September 4th

1) What did you consume today?

Today, I savored a Pumpkin Spice Latte in the AM with a banana, had a bacon, date and goat cheese empanada and Boathouse protein shake for lunch, and pizza and chips and guac for dinner.

2) We're you active today? What did you do?

Yep. Went to CrossFit for 15 minutes of goat training (5 toes to bar, 5 push-ups every minute). The metcon was 2 rounds for time of 500 m row and 25 burpees. 

During the warm up run I expressed that I  can't wait to lose 20 pounds so I can run faster and maybe finally get a muscle up. My friends laughed at me and said that's not how this WLC is going to work for me. I've been scammed! Lied to!

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle goal and what did you think?

My lifestyle goal this week is to eat as unhealthfully as possible so as to sandbag myself on the initial weigh-in, measurements and workout and also to indulge in foods I love that I won't be able to eat for 2 months. It's a smashing success.

4) Did you cheat or lie?


5) How do you feel?

I'm on a total binge-fest of terrible food until this thing starts. I feel like I'm frantically catching up to people who knew they were doing the Whole Life Challenge weeks ago and could better plan or even space out their binging. It's AMRAP junk food for 3 days for me. The high concentration of bullshit food makes me feel awful-like a giant, useless tub of lard. And it's totally worth it. Noodles & Co. tomorrow!

Also I feel bitter that I can no longer drink the Boathouse or similar protein shakes. Someone should really write the manufacturers and tell them how appallingly terrible and unhealthy their product is due to the soy and whey contents. Who do they think they are? McDonalds? Stop killing people, Boathouse.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Whole Life Challenge Accepted

Feel that? It's the chill of frost that's creeping across the landscape of Hell.

See that? We're surrounded piles of untouchable steaming, delicious pepperoni pizza and vats of undrinkable frothy, refreshing craft beer that could provide warmth, happiness and relief from our frigid despair.

So go the damning effects of the 60 day Whole Life Challenge, beginning September 7th. "Stop being so dramatic," you're eye-rolling. But lest you judge too harshly, first look at the detailed rules and this list below of what I'm "allowed" to eat:

Coaxed and reassured by my friends and Fiancé (don't bother coming home) that this isn't so restrictive and there will be plenty of meats, vegetables, sugar-free, non-artificial and non-processed foods to consume, I caved.

"It's OK," I pled with myself, "You'll just chew a ton of gum to trick yourself into thinking you're consuming your usual shitty diet." WRONG. Gum is not allowed in the Whole Life Challenge. Friends suggested I chew on mint leaves. We are not friends anymore (Sorry, Chris).

The way the WLC works is that you receive 5 food points per day and you deduct 1 point for every rule you break. You also earn points through activity, supplements and lifestyle and can makeup lost food points via daily journals.

In anticipation of the mad journaling that will be required for me to get through the WLC, I've decided to revive my blog and post the journals so that everyone can take part in my own personal Hell. To give it some structure, I'll ask myself the same 5 questions everyday based on the WLC categories:
  1. What did you consume today? (Nutrition/Supplements)
  2. Were you active today and what did you do? (Exercise/Mobility)
  3. Did you complete the weekly lifestyle goal and what did you think? (Lifestyle)
  4. How do you feel?
  5. Did you cheat or lie?
Hope you enjoy and cheers to 2 months of Hell!

Well, not cheers, because fun is strictly prohibited by the WLC. 

High five.