tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26826358285005502822024-03-04T20:34:01.463-08:00BerkaAnonymousChristy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-38125395367501007902016-02-07T11:44:00.003-08:002016-02-07T13:13:47.689-08:00Clinton Campaign Feminist Séance Backfires<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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New Hampshire–Feb 7th 2016</h4>
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Following <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/08/us/politics/gloria-steinem-madeleine-albright-hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders.html?mwrsm=Facebook&_r=0">strong endorsements over the weekend</a> from living feminist legends Gloria Steinem and Madeleine Albright, the Clinton campaign saw instant poll number boosts from guilty young feminists who had begun to support opponent Bernie Sanders. <br />
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Hoping to ride on the momentum of using notable feminists to berate young, delinquent feminists into supporting their candidate, the Clinton campaign doubled down on this strategy in advance of the New Hampshire primaries by pouring the remaining of their marketing/PR budget into séances. <br />
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“We realized we were really limiting ourselves by only talking with the living old-school feminists,” said a Clinton camp representative, “That’s why we decided to enlist Theresa Caputo, Long Island Medium, to draw endorsements from the most respected feminist leaders of our nation’s past.”<br />
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The séances all started according to plan.<br />
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“If you don't’ have a crisp pant suit, you’ve got nothing. Us pant suits must stick together,” urged Marlene Deitrich.<br />
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But all went south when Caputo made contact with Hull House founder, Jane Addams. <br />
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“I didn’t know what to do,” Caputo lamented, “You know, the Clinton camp put all of their trust in this process for endorsements, but I can’t control what the dead are going to say.”<br />
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“Why wouldn’t we want the nation’s wealth to work as hard as it can for all of our citizens, especially the poorest and most vulnerable? I think Sanders really has the right idea.” Addams started.<br />
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After Jane Addams voiced support for Sanders’ democratic socialist policies, Caputo says that dozens of undead feminists fought over the Sanders soapbox. Nightingale supported single payer healthcare. Angelou recited fresh poetry about free college education for all.<br />
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"We didn't fight for women's right to vote so that they could follow an arbitrary herd mentality," suffragette leader Anna Howard Shaw retorted when Caputo desperately tried to coax a Clinton endorsement.<br />
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“We’re deeply disappointed,” the Clinton campaign reported this afternoon, “With only one day left to the primary and our budget spent, we will just have to rely on our eleventh-hour guerrilla tactics.”<br />
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While the campaign would not reveal the content of these secret guerrilla tactics, sources close to the campaign said that volunteers were recruited to paste feminine pads painted with the phrase “We bleed together!” around polling locations throughout the state.</div>
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com1Chicago, IL, USA41.8781136 -87.62979819999998241.4995241 -88.275245199999986 42.256703099999996 -86.984351199999978tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-25258545666335545682015-11-13T16:33:00.000-08:002015-11-13T17:53:01.649-08:00About that TV Spot, Dad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A Chick in Search of a Thing</h3>
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It’s normal to feel aimless. To seek purpose. Humans have been doing it through the course of existence. Authors have bored me with it through the course of my education (I’m looking at you James Joyce). It’s not that I feel unhappy, but I am in search of my “thing.” The one thing I am great at. The thing that identifies me.<br>
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I’m good at a lot of things, but nothing stands out. Writer? Actor? Singer? CrossFitter? No. What I am best at is passable mediocrity. Or sometimes passable slightly-above-average-ness. My test scores showed this growing up. My physical abilities demonstrate this now. And my you-can-be-in-the-chorus-but-don't-ask-for-a-lead performing arts experience deliver this in a harsh dose of reality.<br>
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Sometimes I blame my mom. “Why did you let me quit everything?!” my 27 year old self whines to my mommy, “I could have been great!”<br>
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And I for sure blame my dad, an advertising executive. Who I suspected then but know now he could have definitely placed me in those TV commercials I begged to be in with Scott Hamilton. What did you even put me in ice skating lessons for, dad? Is this a sick joke? <br>
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My husband, who is a rapper with a real EP and a comedian who writes sold out sketch comedy shows in Chicago (and also a successful PR professional), says maybe my job is my thing. I’m really good at my job and I like it. Fuck you, Matt. (I love you).<br>
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Maybe it is, though. Maybe my job is my thing in a world where people are identified by and have to steak a claim in the one thing they can be recognized for. <br>
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But I invite you and must force myself to step out of that world where we are defined by one thing. It's a tall order, but here are 3 thoughts I hope will help me get there:<br>
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1. Take the Chance: </h4>
You can't succeed if you don't try. Better to try and fail than to never try at all. Blah, blah, blah. It's true though. Take the class. Write the piece. Be in the show. Play the instrument. Because it's not about success or failure. Doing it is the thing.<br>
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2. You Don't Expire</h4>
So many times I have thought to myself, "Well, I guess my time has passed. I'll never be a famous performer, professional athlete, [fill in the blank]." It's hard to remember, especially for women, that you don't expire. There is no real timeline by which you have to accomplish greatness or fade away forever. Push yourself to try new things.<br>
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3. Screw Everyone</h4>
Originally, I called this "get out of your head." But that doesn't work for me. This is the hardest part and frankly I can't do it yet. But when I find myself fearing failure, or fearing mediocrity, sometimes I just have to whisper to myself, "screw everyone." They don't matter. Their perception of my success, failure or one true "thing" doesn't matter.<br>
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So embrace the concept of the Renaissance Man and find value in the Jacks Of All Trades. Don’t do your thing. Do all the things and don't worry about the results. Find joy in the process.<br>
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Because that’s a world where I win. And winning is everything.<br>
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(You guys, I’m sorry I ended the post that way. I typed it and laughed out loud and couldn’t delete it. But you all go do you. Whatever that means. Whatever that means is right.)<br>
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-25988903010522461252015-11-08T14:27:00.001-08:002015-11-10T09:06:28.115-08:00The 3 Truths Behind Starbucks Red Holiday Cups<div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">If you're reading this, you're an </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">idiot. I'm an idiot for having written it. The whole internet are idiots for having entertained this. But here we are, discussing Starbucks controversial holiday cups. Because everybody's doing it. (<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/11/09/starbucks-removed-christmas-from-their-cups-because-they-hate-jesus-christian-says-in-viral-facebook-video/">The Washington Post</a> <a href="http://uproxx.com/life/2015/11/starbucks-merry-christmas-cups/" target="_blank">Uproxx</a>, <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/09/politics/donald-trump-starbucks-boycott-christmas/">CNN & Donald Trump</a>, <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/11/starbucks-coffee-cups-war-on-christmas/415029/">The Atlantic</a>, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/10/business/starbuckss-red-holiday-cups-inspire-outcry-online.html?ref=topics&_r=0">The New York Times</a>, etc, etc.) </span>And because I'm a sort-of-blogger handcuffed to relevant content who also happens to think this is outrageous.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">The controversy is that by rolling out plain red holiday cups this season, rather than holiday designs similar to years past, Starbucks is obviously trying to sanitize Christianity. The real truth of the matter, however is 3-fold.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">1) <b>Starbucks obviously still loves Christmas.</b> And</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"> by association they are at least symbolically down with Jesus. Not only do they sell a Christmas Blend coffee, which one could argue is more of a commercial than a religious statement, but they sell Advent Calendars. That shit is so Christian I barely remember from my Christian upbringing what it symbolizes. But it's certainly an overt celebration of the looming birth of Christ and more than just a secular-ization of the season.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">2) <b>The previous designs really had nothing to do with Christianity</b>. At best, they were Pagan-based or secular holiday representations meant only to evoke holiday cheer, not to hold over your Advent prayer book. (But, as discussed Starbucks has an Advent Calendar just for your Jesus rituals.) So whatever these protesters think has been taken away, never really existed in the first place. If anything, a devout Christian might be pleased that secular and pagan symbols are removed in favor of plain red. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">3) <b>Christians taking up this issue clearly need to work on their definition of sanitizing religions. </b>There are real threats and gruesome examples of religious sanitizing and cleansing throughout the course of history and happening today. The worst cases involve extreme human struggles and death. So maybe reframe your outrage over disposable coffee cups</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Choose not to patron Starbucks if you want. We won't miss seeing you there. And take your business over to the coffee chain next door. But for the love of white Christian privilege, please shut up about it.</span></div>
Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-45297212511575638742014-05-29T15:05:00.001-07:002014-05-29T16:41:18.182-07:00Check Your Inferiority Complex At The Door, Please<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Erin, you ignorant slut.<br>
(I promised a friend that would be my opener.)<br>
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But in half-seriousness (because fuck all y'all for taking yourselves too seriously), social media has been abuzz of late with some severely anti-CrossFit articles, one most notably from Erin Simmons, who was <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-simmons/why-i-dont-do-crossfit_b_5411771.html">picked up by HuffPo</a> - the world's most reputable news source. The CrossFit community raged, with rebuttal post after rebuttal post, building the negative momentum. Then Mashable jumped on board, with an entertaining <a href="http://mashable.com/2014/05/29/crossfit-fails/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link" target="_blank">vignette of CrossFit fails</a>.<br>
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I'm not going to waste words defending CrossFit, the community has taken care of that ad nauseam - Google it if you must. I'd simply like to request that everyone get over themselves. In the gym, an actual mantra of the overwhelming majority of CrossFitters is to "check your ego at the door." This simple philosophy actually helps prevent the image of piles of injured people crumbling into puddles of their own vomit that naysayers are tickled to paint for you. I'll say that some CrossFitters could stand to take this mentality into discourse and be more open to constructive, objective feedback about the new, still developing sport (That means "get over yourself" applies to you, too).<br>
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Speaking of getting over one's self, on a first read of Simmons blog (and of most similar visceral anti-CrossFit posts), my gut reaction was that she needed to "check her ego." After all, she opens with an anecdote about how she gazelled with her perfect machine of a body into a gym, pulled herself into a muscle-up and spent the next 20 minutes pointing and laughing at the other people attempting to do the same (that's how I imagine it, anyway).<br>
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Having thought on it some more, reading comments from her likeminded following, I've come to realize that they don't need to check their egos. They need to check their inferiority complexes. The ingroup/outgroup mentality that CrossFit fosters earns it the reputation of family and cult, respectively. As the contra-culture becomes more mainstream (because it's not actually a cult and is welcoming to anyone), the fear of the unknown is drumming up in traditional athletes.<br>
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Are Simmons and those interested in health and fitness right to question the risks and rewards of and form opinions about a new sport? Absolutely. But writing off all participants as inexperienced, brainwashed bafoons begging for rhabdo represents something entirely different. It represents current or washed-up athletes terrified of an emerging, accessible sport producing tens of thousands of athletes who threaten their confidence in their own fitness. It's our human nature to fear what we don't know. Plain and simple.<br>
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So to Erin Simmons and many others out there who have written mostly identical attacks on CrossFit. I invite you to check your inferiority complex (and ego) at the door. You don't have to drink the Kool-Aid, but if you're going to keep writing the same uninformed crap, consider drinking a big glass of "shut-the-hell-up."Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-2651449778249075052014-05-12T10:58:00.000-07:002014-05-12T12:36:44.349-07:00Bitches On The Knot Be Like...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tra-la-la you're in happy wedding planning bliss. And like any reasonable person dumping hilarious sums of money into a wedding, you want to make sure you've got your bases covered. So naturally, you do what any good modern bride would do when you have questions and consult some forums. You find The Knot, as it usually rises to the top of your Google search, and that's when it happens. BAM. You just got bitch-slapped by bridezillas.<br />
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Let's say, for instance, you're in the early planning stages trying to find out the best way to have a large wedding party within a casual wedding setting:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-h4G5uNkNYnAtTYfmZJKLL-i1oiH4abF4MvmL8VmGCwlg10lO-IkH6yXvf-z4bBZk_TUTWEoiWF6HR2f9T3uIGRAd29eolQTOcxsdePuIvjKIEnzcWUdpy6rbj5AUNOFpka-T-y-5kaE/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-12+at+12.35.34+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-h4G5uNkNYnAtTYfmZJKLL-i1oiH4abF4MvmL8VmGCwlg10lO-IkH6yXvf-z4bBZk_TUTWEoiWF6HR2f9T3uIGRAd29eolQTOcxsdePuIvjKIEnzcWUdpy6rbj5AUNOFpka-T-y-5kaE/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-12+at+12.35.34+PM.png" height="103" width="400" /></a></div>
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Great. Now that these woman have established that you're a whore. Let's move on, maybe with a more vanilla topic. You found this cool idea on Pinterest - what do they think?! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYxClH0outZ3kvBz7UDDJ4OufvJX21j283j0sgChA8HcFWJm1P7LYmqM6ZollGI-jhgW_yENqsNyY53Fx_ZDuJlsz3MzoEwTDYxZYma6hc9J9uVuejU5Bddiash-y2dyOLNcCivHX2I8M/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-12+at+12.17.44+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYxClH0outZ3kvBz7UDDJ4OufvJX21j283j0sgChA8HcFWJm1P7LYmqM6ZollGI-jhgW_yENqsNyY53Fx_ZDuJlsz3MzoEwTDYxZYma6hc9J9uVuejU5Bddiash-y2dyOLNcCivHX2I8M/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-12+at+12.17.44+PM.png" height="112" width="400" /></a></div>
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Yeesh. OK - Point taken on Pinterest as the root of all evil, designed to lure brides down a path of improper etiquette, wedding train wrecks and certain death. But you could really use some advice about which honeymoon registry to choose. Maybe such a specific, harmless topic will illicit some actually constructive responses.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi_fR1ZLVMzCC8ObmjpLd_Xea62Tc1jYgEw0ekr4Oanve4yc2j-E-cZ-dPKD8mNyMCO0VDfGRkFGn4rS_h0xWiH0qjvCBe0lBMI1fBD-uz-w1sous-ei3pNHrOwavvaevlogm_VF7kQ-Q/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-12+at+12.22.55+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi_fR1ZLVMzCC8ObmjpLd_Xea62Tc1jYgEw0ekr4Oanve4yc2j-E-cZ-dPKD8mNyMCO0VDfGRkFGn4rS_h0xWiH0qjvCBe0lBMI1fBD-uz-w1sous-ei3pNHrOwavvaevlogm_VF7kQ-Q/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-12+at+12.22.55+PM.png" height="143" width="400" /></a></div>
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But don't worry guys, she's <i>trying</i> not to judge. She just thinks you're objectively lazy, entitled and tactless.<br />
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ENOUGH, ladies. Can't a gal get some solidarity? Maybe you should say something. Yes, let's suggest they could be more polite:<br />
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Woof. Who are these wretched excuses for human beings anyway? Well, based on the description of their community, many of them may not even be engaged yet. That's right, the psychotics planning their wedding with no partner in the picture. And suddenly the world becomes a little clearer. My advice to anyone seeking wedding advice is: It's your wedding, do whatever the Hell you want. And whatever you do, stay away from The Knot forums. Because bitches on The Knot be CRAZY.<br />
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<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-51031037488032407002014-04-12T10:37:00.000-07:002014-04-16T10:31:27.327-07:00Stages of Dieting GriefDuring some downtime recently, basking in the post-consumption euphoria of a particularly amazing Chipotle burrito whilst also fighting the powerful urge to indulge in a double chocolate chip cookie dessert, I found myself pondering my relationship with food.<br />
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I had a revelation: My emotional process for dieting mirrors the psychological process for grieving. If I look back on my Whole Life Challenge experience or any other attempts to diet, for that matter, the phases are evident. As an example, let's take my thought process for said cookie that is lingering in my line of site for the entire time I am composing this post:<br />
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<h3>
Denial</h3>
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"I don't need to be on a diet. I'm not <i>that</i> fat and I workout a significant amount. Maybe I should just get the cookie. Look at it. It's scrumptious. Mmm. Cookie."</div>
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<a href="http://literallynuts.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/tumblr_mopwfaj8tx1rcgpm7o1_500-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://literallynuts.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/tumblr_mopwfaj8tx1rcgpm7o1_500-1.gif" height="224" width="400" /></a></div>
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<h3>
Anger</h3>
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"Damn everything. Damn myself for pining for the cookie even though I'm not hungry. Damn society for making me feel like I need to diet. Damn Starbucks for stocking it. Damn Nestle Tollhouse for making the first chocolate chip cookie that was the domino to ruin so many lives."<br />
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<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/55eddfcd04c4d819dfbf074f275e639d/tumblr_inline_n0t8qg2eb21rnvwt1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/55eddfcd04c4d819dfbf074f275e639d/tumblr_inline_n0t8qg2eb21rnvwt1.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<h3>
Bargaining</h3>
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"I mean, Chipotle was a realistically healthy dinner – I got the salad and used no dressing, cheese or sour cream. And really, although a large potion at once, it seemed like a very reasonable volume of food in the context of my intake for the day. I could probably afford the cookie...But wait, I'm getting drinks later and this cookie will cause me to forfeit a beer or two."</div>
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<a href="http://media.tumblr.com/a8524211b74e5b58fd6627c4bed9b5ef/tumblr_inline_mvnd4kaNkZ1qghnkr.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.tumblr.com/a8524211b74e5b58fd6627c4bed9b5ef/tumblr_inline_mvnd4kaNkZ1qghnkr.gif" height="155" width="400" /></a></div>
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Depression</h3>
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"This sucks. I really want that cookie <i>and</i> beer later. Why does it have to be one or the other? I'm going to miss out on all of it's chocolatey goodness. If only I had a little better self control, I wouldn't have eaten like crap all weekend and would be able to eat this cookie. And if I had much better self control I wouldn't have this debate with myself in the first place. And I wouldn't be such a fatty. I'm worthless. A fat, worthless, self-control lacking slob."<br />
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/78b1858b01e2cc20fea841221d9f5de8/tumblr_mltmrmFMSp1s9nz41o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/78b1858b01e2cc20fea841221d9f5de8/tumblr_mltmrmFMSp1s9nz41o1_500.gif" height="173" width="400" /></a></div>
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Acceptance</h4>
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This stage is usually not afforded to me, and I proceed to eat all of the aforementioned feelings. When I do arrive at acceptance, it's begrudgingly: "Well, I guess I need to make the healthy decision (so I can drink beer later)."<br />
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-39179347114556079952014-02-19T12:06:00.000-08:002014-06-04T15:08:16.539-07:00CrossFit Gives No Fucks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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UPDATED FROM ORIGINAL 2.19.14 POST ON 6.4.2014<br />
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I care a great deal about my CrossFit family and they care a great deal about me. Our coaches and athletes know each other by name, occupation, ability level and personal goals. It has changed my life permanently for the better. This post is not about that. This post is about CrossFit HQ. And how they give no fucks.<br />
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First, some background. CrossFit headquarters (HQ) owns the CrossFit brand and the CrossFit games and that's about it. Affiliates pay a very low cost registration fee and their coaches initially attend a weekend-long certification session. Once that happens, it's hands off, and affiliates more or less run autonomously. This low cost of entry for affiliates and increase in popularity among consumers has caused CrossFit as a sport to explode – A rapid growth spurt, if you will, leaving us with what I've often observed as an angsty adolescent in identity crisis. It doesn't know what is wants to be when it grows up. And it's not ready.<br />
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This scenario mostly plays out, loudly and clearly, when the community relies on it to act like the mature organization it's not, and the apathetic aftermath plays out in laughable, or sometimes deplorable communications. I submit to you 3 (of many) examples:<br />
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<h4>
1) CrossFit for Hope</h4>
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Outrage and disgust abounded when the organization tried to coordinate a new fundraising effort across all of its affiliates. They declared CrossFit for Hope would be an affiliate-wide event where participants all over the globe could perform the same workout on the same day and raise funds for St. Jude's Research hospital. <br />
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So what went wrong? Everyone can get behind helping sick kids, right? A promo poster of a slutty nurse pulling a wagon of grotesquely caricatured dying children, that's what:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwC9DTYn8ursEzYXeFv3bVzPFp7vFnHBA__rCI-Cv7p30KZ2_by6vCp_w850tMOOeIoRiOwY7QiJ9BSSs69IV0QfjR8moiAm9L44vJPYCkoPhPsOFEdDBR9Rcru0Hm4B_ejIjCpF7iUw/s1600/Hope1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwC9DTYn8ursEzYXeFv3bVzPFp7vFnHBA__rCI-Cv7p30KZ2_by6vCp_w850tMOOeIoRiOwY7QiJ9BSSs69IV0QfjR8moiAm9L44vJPYCkoPhPsOFEdDBR9Rcru0Hm4B_ejIjCpF7iUw/s1600/Hope1.jpg" height="255" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thenakedxfitter.com/2012/05/crossfit-for-nope.html" target="_blank">The masses erupted.</a> By the time I entertained blogging my own reaction, dozens existed accusing HQ of a gross misstep. <br />
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As a communicator, the appropriate PR strategy here would be to course correct - Acknowledge and amend. Their PR strategy looked more like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhibxDO1exfgB0E66RwABzJmF89Pd9jBsXV3zBFCr7fnAIBOKFqPZWW3LW2ch-EhErk149MEQngjamd9r-maAE0gn4tAxLkcIvVrjacSL7rVpwNxd8Nd87aV3VmLHVP1WTRLzqRwQRIt3Y/s1600/dowhatiwant.GIF" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhibxDO1exfgB0E66RwABzJmF89Pd9jBsXV3zBFCr7fnAIBOKFqPZWW3LW2ch-EhErk149MEQngjamd9r-maAE0gn4tAxLkcIvVrjacSL7rVpwNxd8Nd87aV3VmLHVP1WTRLzqRwQRIt3Y/s1600/dowhatiwant.GIF" height="302" width="400" /></a></div>
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No, really, they basically told everyone to shove it:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MWElGdntlNdrIUn3kJx0ETodpSN-cl-gnh-22DKIdg9qV6NX6BsfGkjJzA6G4JzpzqLTSQvAeebASAtIpK-x-ZlYY02dZlezej0c5OtFgNCaOoeL5eVL1gGDX2Niv5WSQsFuiobPMAU/s1600/glassman.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MWElGdntlNdrIUn3kJx0ETodpSN-cl-gnh-22DKIdg9qV6NX6BsfGkjJzA6G4JzpzqLTSQvAeebASAtIpK-x-ZlYY02dZlezej0c5OtFgNCaOoeL5eVL1gGDX2Niv5WSQsFuiobPMAU/s1600/glassman.png" height="349" width="400" /></a></div>
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<h4>
2) The Reebok Hissy Fit</h4>
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What happens when an inexperienced CrossFit HQ marketing team pairs with a once-popular athletic apparel company (and likely their very steeped, experienced agency) trying to freshen its outdated brand? CrossFit's brand gets owned. Literally. Clearly CrossFit HQ didn't understand the subtle nuances in the brand and logo architecture that Reebok initially created for the Reebok CrossFit Games. And then their Reebok CrossFit clothing line. Maybe you didn't either. But any experienced marketer could see that Reebok managed to make their brand the Masterbrand of CrossFit. It was really genius of Reebok, actually. Not to mention effective.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg389zUof1AnYvlNS3IUoUO5JVZotbNy6ElCn4isTbSqA2biCvk2eZO9ICc2UegJJL14yGPA3pwzQkgQsNox33yF2zYk1Uxy2f5x8CRftr_UoGBTApgfByLW4d21e_7MqfkNPKjwDlz5LM/s1600/reebok_crossfit.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg389zUof1AnYvlNS3IUoUO5JVZotbNy6ElCn4isTbSqA2biCvk2eZO9ICc2UegJJL14yGPA3pwzQkgQsNox33yF2zYk1Uxy2f5x8CRftr_UoGBTApgfByLW4d21e_7MqfkNPKjwDlz5LM/s1600/reebok_crossfit.png" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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When CrossFit HQ finally figured this out, it was way too late. And I get the impression that their marketing people took a break from passing notes in study hall long enough to <a href="http://therxreview.com/crossfit-v-reebok-social-media-sledge/" target="_blank">launch a social media attack</a>.<br />
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After the social sphere discovered the hissy fit and called out HQ's social media people. What did they do? Gave no fucks:<br />
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<i></i><br />
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<i><i><b>“We have since hashed things out with Reebok and it worked out great. If you were late to the party and just want to know what everyone else is talking about, sorry. There is no reason to explain what you missed because it has been resolved and we are happy with the result.”</b></i></i></div>
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<i><i><i><i><b> -- Russell Berger, CFHQ</b></i></i></i></i></div>
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<h4>
3) T&A</h4>
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Last but certainly not least, let's not ignore the rampant, gratuitous sexism that often takes place on HQ's Facebook page and, of course, how little they care about it. The photos that CrossFit selects and the comments they allow to be posted in their community are a disgrace to their female athletes. For example:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvUM7O4saqXJBKldgkHfnb-yHw9K5Eb1XFtieAk4lmJGjw66QUKAhdNvOtq3fzehKyu85pMoeJXX3xhmlrF1mjOT-P-he3VHOFfpF_jJ69Whyphenhyphen0rC5mNY5wpfs4P7evZ4jeQRvDQd92GA/s1600/screenshot2013-09-10at124117pm.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvUM7O4saqXJBKldgkHfnb-yHw9K5Eb1XFtieAk4lmJGjw66QUKAhdNvOtq3fzehKyu85pMoeJXX3xhmlrF1mjOT-P-he3VHOFfpF_jJ69Whyphenhyphen0rC5mNY5wpfs4P7evZ4jeQRvDQd92GA/s1600/screenshot2013-09-10at124117pm.png" height="640" width="385" /></a></div>
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Many have written about these <a href="http://breakingmuscle.com/crossfit/the-peasants-are-revolting-its-time-for-crossfit-affiliates-to-take-back-their-name" target="_blank">disparaging practices of CrossFit HQ</a>. Particularly following a provocative shot of athlete <a href="http://breakingmuscle.com/crossfit/dear-crossfit-talayna-deserves-better" target="_blank">Talayna Fortunato climbing a rope</a> in the 2013 Reebok CrossFit Games, the communities fired back. In response to the concern raised by their communities, CrossFit HQ responded exactly as expected – With great apathy. At best, they remain unchanging, neutral and unapologetic. At worst they are defensive and antagonistic.</div>
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<h4>
So, to recap:</h4>
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It's time for CrossFit HQ to understand that, where the brand is concerned, contrarian doesn't have to equal offensive or careless, and a little tact is never a bad thing. Simply put, it's time to grow up. And perhaps it's time to rethink their <a href="http://www.inc.com/magazine/201307/burt-helm/crossfit-empire.html" target="_blank">"Do Not Cross CrossFit"</a> social media practices. It's time to give a fuck.<br />
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UPDATE: On June 4, 2014, HQ posted a <a href="http://youtu.be/1q31CCDVdas" target="_blank">video parodying Jesus as a "Cross"Fitter</a>. Get it? Damn they're clever. Personally, I'm not offended. But their threepeat Fittest Man alive, <a href="http://www.christianpost.com/news/fittest-man-on-earth-rich-froning-jr-put-jesus-first-everything-else-will-fall-into-place-101704/" target="_blank">Rich Fronig, who owns CrossFit Faith and is (annoyingly) vocal about his spiritual drive and commitment?</a> He may think differently.<br />
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I presume they will go on without any regard for the implications to their brand until they badly lose a lawsuit. Otherwise their business model seems to allow CrossFitters, who identify most closely with their own, independently owned and operated gyms, to distance themselves from the atrocity of HQ. Good thing, because those CrossFitters input is falling on deaf ears.</div>
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-56487154073510992542014-02-04T12:09:00.000-08:002014-02-04T12:22:21.912-08:00The Only 7 Wedding Planning Tips That Matter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So you just got engaged? Congratulations. Now take a seat. Some friends have requested that I write a wedding planning post to impart my new knowledge to future brides-to-be. Probably because my wedding was almost fully planned within two months of being engaged with zero drama.<br />
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So first thing's first...<br />
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1. Chill out</h4>
No really, chill the hell out. All 1,267 of your Facebook friends know how excited you are and that you've probably been dreaming of this moment for a long time. They have acknowledged it with a solid 48-72 hours of nonstop social media engagement and, frankly, are ready to move on. Even members of your family or bridal party, believe it or not, haven't penciled 24/7 wedding planning with you for the next 12 months into their calendars.<br />
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So realize you do have time to plan (assuming you've given yourself a standard 8-16 month engagement), craft a vision and be flexible in order to...<br />
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2. Keep your eye on the prize</h4>
What's your vision for your wedding? Is it to have small, intimate celebration of your new marriage? Is it to throw a giant party for your friends and family? Have it? Good. Now put that vision in the context of your budget and tell me how those particular exotic orchids you're demanding fit into it. For us, we decided that no one was going to leave our celebration and say "great party, but they forgot the chair covers." So we saved that expense and put it towards late night Lou Malnatis pizza, which was cheaper than chair covers and fit better with our vision.<br />
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This becomes much easier when you accept that fact that...<br />
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3. "The one" doesn't exist</h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Take a deep breath, you may not like this. There is no such thing as "the one" of anything. I promise, there is not the perfect flower that's going to make your wedding. There is not a single venue that you just have to have under all circumstances. And, contrary to what TLC will have you believe (yes, I'm going to say it) there is not just one wedding dress in the entire world that will look stunning on you walking down the aisle. "The one" only applies to the person you've chosen to marry. And at the end of the wedding, you will be married and have celebrated with those important to you, which is all that matters.</span><br />
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So, like I said, <i>chill out</i> and...<br />
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4. Be objective and flexible</h4>
Where does all of the money you're throwing into a wedding go? To creative people who are providing a service. From the caterer, to the florist, to planners, to DJs, their job is to understand your vision and deliver on it within budget. Plain and simple. By hiring them, you have put trust in their ability to deliver. So for goodness sake,<i> let them</i>. Instead of many specific requests, use adjectives that describe the tone you're trying to set like vintage, modern, fresh, classic, colorful. If you can force yourself to be flexible within your vision, you will avoid much stress and be able to plan more quickly.<br />
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This doesn't mean you can't have any specific requests. But make sure you know the implications on your bottom line and at least listen to recommendations from your vendors - They do this for a living. But at the end of the day...<br />
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5. It's your goddamn wedding</h4>
The best advice I received personally is that "Everyone will have an opinion, and they'll all suck." Yes, that's a little dramatic, but it's easy to forget that generally the only opinion that matters is your own. Everyone on The Knot thinks that honeymoon registries are tacky and viciously attacks those considering them in forums? (Seriously, those bitches are <i>mean</i>). Your Facebook "friend" thinks electronic RSVPs will reduce your event to that of a "backyard BBQ" (hmph.) People think your wedding party is too large or too small? Screw 'em. When they get married, they can do it however they want. This is your time and it should be however you want it.<br />
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But beware, bridezilla, because even though it <i>is</i> your goddamn wedding...<br />
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6. It's not actually all about you</h4>
I mean this specifically for the portion of planning that affects your wedding party. Don't cram their schedules so full that they can't enjoy your wedding experience. Let your bridesmaids provide input on the dress selections and give them options to discuss. For my bridesmaids, we went with my second favorite option, because it was their clear favorite and both ultimately fit with my vision. Be flexible and considerate.<br />
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But no matter how flexible you are during planning, it's extremely likely that...<br />
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7. Something <i>will</i> go wrong</h4>
When this happens, simply apply the previous six principles. There is no problem you won't be able to tackle if you exercise calmness, flexibility and courtesy, and remember the only thing that matters is celebrating with those you care about. At my cousin's wedding, someone forgot to set out the place cards, which we later learned really stressed out the newlyweds. But none of the guests caught the mishap, assumed it was open seating, and seated themselves for a lovely reception.<br />
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<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-75797953110924229822014-02-03T10:09:00.000-08:002014-02-03T12:09:35.875-08:00Morning Workouts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is me working out in the morning.</h3>
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5:30 AM - Alarm clock - "This is terrible make it stop"<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">6:30 AM - Commence workout - "Let's get this over with"</span></span><br />
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7:00 AM - Mid-workout - "OK, OK, not so bad"<br />
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7:30 AM - End workout - "This is great - I have the whole rest of they day ahead of me, will be at work early, can do whatever I want tonight"<br />
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8:30 AM - Arrive at work - "I'm invincible and better than anyone who has not worked out yet"<br />
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8:45 AM - Indulge in large breakfast(s) - "Got my reps in. I can eat as much as I want, bitches"<br />
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9:30 AM - Chugging coffee - "Oh, God I'm exhausted"<br />
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2:00 PM - Still chugging coffee, nodding off at desk - "Kill me"<br />
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Stuffed peppers aren't rocket science, but I've never attempted them before. I took a dish I cook often and simply used it as the stuffing to make it easy on myself, but really, you can stuff them with anything. <br /><br />The results were delicious, but I'm not convinced it's worth the extra cook time to stuff the pepper. My ravenous, gluttonous self typically wouldn't have the patience to execute this on a day that I'm not barricaded inside my apartment for protection from the sad, frozen tundra that is Chicago. Nevertheless, I had the time to try it, so here it went:<br /><b><br /></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>Ingredients:</b><br /><div>
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<li>2 lbs of ground beef, grass fed, if you're going to be all snobby about it (like I was)</li>
<li>1 medium yellow onion, diced</li>
<li>2 jalapeños, only 1 seeded</li>
<li>1 large tomato</li>
<li>2 large sweet potatoes, diced into .5 cubes</li>
<li>1 T minced garlic</li>
<li>4 large green peppers, halve lengthwise and seeded</li>
<li>Coconut oil</li>
<li>Sea salt</li>
<li>Seasoning salt</li>
<li>Black pepper </li>
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<br /><b>Instructions:</b><br /><ul>
<li>Preheat oven to 350 degrees.</li>
<li>In one large saucepan over medium heat, combine 1 T coconut oil, ground beef, onion, jalapeño, seasoning salt and pepper to taste (I probably used 1 T seasoning and 1/2 T pepper). Stir as beef browns.</li>
<li>When beef is almost finished browning, add the diced tomato and cook an additional 3-5 min. </li>
<li>Drain pan when finished.</li>
<li>Meanwhile in second large saucepan over medium heat combine 2 T coconut oil, sweet potatoes, garlic and sea salt and pepper to taste. Stir occassionally until potatoes are tender.</li>
<li>In a large bowl or into one of the saucepans, if large enough, combine contents of both pans and stir well. **(see note at bottom for alternative)</li>
<li>Place pepper halves in large microwave safe dish with approximately 1 cup of water. Cover and microwave on high for 3-5 minutes.</li>
<li>Arranged pepper halves on cookie sheet and spoon stuffing mixture into each until brimming.</li>
<li>Bake for 30-40 min.</li>
<li>Allow to cool and serve with salsa, guacamole or your condiment of choice.</li>
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**Note: The "stuffing" by itself without the peppers makes a tastey, fairly quick dish that we've eaten many a night coming back from working out and ready to eat like we'd never eat again. For a twist, you can also add a can of tomato sauce into the final mixture and simmer covered for 10 min.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br />Berka Crocker<br /><br /><br /></div>
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-84597168760784971812014-01-23T14:07:00.000-08:002014-01-23T14:38:22.216-08:00Open Letter to Ventra<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Having been in a community manager role for a Fortune 50 insurer for a few years, I've seen some really angry people. The "Hurricane Katrina, annihilated my home and all my worldly possessions and you refuse to pay my claims" kind of angry. Trust me - That's really angry. In managing these communities, I told myself I wouldn't be the person who "likes" an organization's Facebook page simply to complain and troll. Then along came Ventra. You have been "liked." And this is for you.<br />
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Cubic Transportation Systems, the CTA's contractor for Ventra, boasts the line "Intelligent Travel Made Real." What a lofty selling proposition from our good friends in San Diego. What's "real" in San Diego?</blockquote>
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<li>Does the City In Motion take advantage of mass transit? Or can your bustling metropolis even comprehend a 729,500 people per day ridership and the <a href="http://www.myfoxla.com/story/23963148/ventra-malfunction-causes-long-lines-during-rush-hour" target="_blank">ensuing turnstile chaos when malfunctioning cards leave paying customers to fail at multiple attempts to board the platforms, causing confusion, congestion and delays</a> up to an hour?</li>
<li>Are underserved communities "real" in America's Finest City? Or do you have any idea whatsoever that your distribution system <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ct-getting-around-met-0120-20140120,0,2316690.column" target="_blank">inhibits the ability of Chicago NPOs to provide transportation services to the needy</a>?</li>
<li>Do people sitting on Silicon Beach know that winter is real in some places? Or does the sun blind you entirely from the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/06/chicago-record-low-temperature_n_4548999.html" target="_blank">record low Chicago temperatures</a> in which your poor systems are stranding the aforementioned commuters and underserved population?</li>
<li>Is siesta time a real thing in SoCal? Or do people in your communities have to take real time off of work to travel to the single physical location that can handle customer service issues because your call centers are so incompetent?</li>
<li>Does your organization understand that monetary transactions, even of the electronic variety, are real? Or do you think the <a href="http://www.bizjournals.com/chicago/news/2013/12/31/chicago-transit-authority-wants-its-money-back.html?page=all" target="_blank">$1.2 million you lost by the CTA</a> and the <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/arkielad/2013/09/chicago_ventra_card/" target="_blank">multiple charges</a> and <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/cta-tattler/2013/03/lack-of-transparency-on-fees-hurts-cta-on-ventra-deal/" target="_blank">hidden fees</a> incurred by customers is just play money?</li>
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What is real is that you <i>really</i> need to address all of these issues and more. <i>Really</i> quickly.</blockquote>
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Meanwhile, in <a href="https://www.facebook.com/VentraChicago" target="_blank">Ventraland</a>, I liked the Facebook page to find the angriest people I've ever seen. Louder, believe it or not, than "lost all worldly possessions" angry. Irate paying customers voice their service issues or, in many cases, outright rage on deaf ears (eyes?). Ventra used to occasionally respond, but they've since given up, posting happy updates and refusing to acknowledge the pervasive issues:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5iU387xyDgBDVxlQ9cBJPpQputE1aQU_qnjSLAD8yECxqd_ht2zvhpBhyphenhyphenV1Xvd8Boiba7Q0i6jmxztUUhCs6lzZrwfQoJO-wIProUvjecOJE-QejRvmIMb3xwApFOL12hRIPoEuSC0u4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-01-23+at+3.13.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5iU387xyDgBDVxlQ9cBJPpQputE1aQU_qnjSLAD8yECxqd_ht2zvhpBhyphenhyphenV1Xvd8Boiba7Q0i6jmxztUUhCs6lzZrwfQoJO-wIProUvjecOJE-QejRvmIMb3xwApFOL12hRIPoEuSC0u4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-01-23+at+3.13.07+PM.png" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.nbcchicago.com/blogs/ward-room/Ventra-Riders-Take-Frustrations-to-New-App-231590371.html" target="_blank">There is also an app </a>and several Facebook pages and Twitter accounts dedicated to the Ventra failure. And let's not forget the many, many halloween costumes last fall. Do you know what it takes for skanky ladies traipsing around Wrigleyville to dress up in a cardboard box with stiletto heals instead of slutty Little Miss Muppet? Blind anger. That's what.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/cta-tattler/files/2013/10/Ventra-card-costume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.chicagonow.com/cta-tattler/files/2013/10/Ventra-card-costume.jpg" height="400" width="283" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That is not me. I was a slutty American Gladiator, <br />
who had happily not yet transferred to Ventra.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<br />
<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-36588048862104549732013-11-21T15:12:00.003-08:002013-11-21T15:17:59.174-08:00White Bean Chicken Chili<h3>
Inspired by my favorite chili from <a href="http://mezzagrill.com/" target="_blank">Mezza Mediterranean Grill</a></h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjntyn3xAo9FHcQyHdqveVCo3MZxLC747Fsqc4fP6nOy2gB_xNBWbA97Yc5VaminEs5VINkQ82DPFRAeqWZ4ID8VtHpOQ0D__et-UQwtJDKEEHlD9z1tkg_NxX9OnFu1IoEWFR32s-tkZg/s1600/White_Bean_Chicken_Chili.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjntyn3xAo9FHcQyHdqveVCo3MZxLC747Fsqc4fP6nOy2gB_xNBWbA97Yc5VaminEs5VINkQ82DPFRAeqWZ4ID8VtHpOQ0D__et-UQwtJDKEEHlD9z1tkg_NxX9OnFu1IoEWFR32s-tkZg/s400/White_Bean_Chicken_Chili.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
During the Whole Life Challenge I made a LOT of chili, which can be a pretty versatile and filling meal if you're open to changing up the flavor palette. Mezza has this amazing white bean chicken chili that I eat at least once every two weeks for lunch. During the Whole Life Challenge, I had to ask the business for the ingredients list to know if I could eat it or not. Since it has a chicken stock base and uses canned ingredients preserved in citric acid or other WLC non-approved ingredients, I wasn't allowed to eat it. And, since I'm not into making my own chicken stock, I couldn't make it during the challenge either. If you want to be WLC compliant, you can make this with your own stock, use fresh ingredients instead of cans and ditch the corn starch. It's definitely possible. I'm not going to link you to any substitute resources, because I don't care enough. <a href="http://lmgtfy.com/?q=paleo+recipe+substitues" target="_blank">Google it.</a><br />
<br />
Since they gave me the ingredients list, just not the proportions, I got to work as soon as the challenge ended. Believe it or not, I was able to find all the ingredients I needed at Aldi. While it didn't turn out identical to my Mezza favorite, it was a damn good and a recipe I'll likely be playing around a lot with in the future. Here it is:<br />
<br />
<h4>
Ingredients</h4>
<ul>
<li>2 cans of great northern beans, 1 with liquid</li>
<li>4oz can green chiles with juice</li>
<li>2 jalepenos, diced, with as many seeds as you desire for spice level–I used all the seeds and it had a nice kick</li>
<li>12oz jar roasted poblano peppers, drained</li>
<li>2 medium yellow onions, diced</li>
<li>6c shredded chicken</li>
<li>3.5c chicken stock</li>
<li>2T corn starch</li>
<li>1T black pepper</li>
<li>1t sea salt (or to taste)</li>
<li>1T cumin</li>
<li>1/2T chili powder</li>
</ul>
<h4>
Instructions</h4>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Combine all ingredients in large crock pot and cook on low for 6-8 hours</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-51162942828214864552013-11-18T15:17:00.002-08:002013-11-18T15:36:37.600-08:00Top 10 Whole Life Challenge Learnings in Photos<h3>
Well, I didn't think I would make it, but here is my complete top 10 List. If you've endeavored on the Whole Life Challenge, some of these may be familiar to you. Headlines link out to my posts that explain each learning. Here we go...</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-10.html" target="_blank">10. Business makes you fat</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxD7VhRPqNEjinYoy_8xykdKAw5BsTFo8fueCkqjTO7FYivKII4AF050MKjG8f3xTbOntm4ks1S0766eS2SG66Ox2ys13TXD3YjMqssHOCuC_TOBghKzbxx3zstuanPsbncDugbhuDuxI/s400/to-industry!.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxD7VhRPqNEjinYoy_8xykdKAw5BsTFo8fueCkqjTO7FYivKII4AF050MKjG8f3xTbOntm4ks1S0766eS2SG66Ox2ys13TXD3YjMqssHOCuC_TOBghKzbxx3zstuanPsbncDugbhuDuxI/s400/to-industry!.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-9-8.html" target="_blank">9. Larabars are god's gift to the world</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDnc02jeZ12p992me-UgXl-cFs5bzmwz5BRFcbRVdwLa-4cR-rsOVTtuHGFhYLd0ApsqZ4Ovu9oWtnk1G5HAorulo-PVeHb7VW8EdStYuTVCDRWQtrmKETxwqLy5Fzu_zQVqahyphenhyphenT4dgg/s1600/larabar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDnc02jeZ12p992me-UgXl-cFs5bzmwz5BRFcbRVdwLa-4cR-rsOVTtuHGFhYLd0ApsqZ4Ovu9oWtnk1G5HAorulo-PVeHb7VW8EdStYuTVCDRWQtrmKETxwqLy5Fzu_zQVqahyphenhyphenT4dgg/s400/larabar.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h4>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h4>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-9-8.html" target="_blank">8. Americans eat like shit</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://img1.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-south-park-fat-people-shop-379351.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="236" src="http://img1.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-south-park-fat-people-shop-379351.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-7-6.html" target="_blank">7. I'm not actually an alcoholic</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/im-not-an-alcoholic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="261" src="http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/im-not-an-alcoholic.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-7-6.html" target="_blank">6. Sugar is in literally everything</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmjkszXmLQ1qizvnso1_r1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="235" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmjkszXmLQ1qizvnso1_r1_500.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h4>
</h4>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-5-4.html" target="_blank">5. Rigid nutrition makes you a beast</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g246/sey115/Photobucket%20Desktop%20-%20Sage%20Youngs%20MacBook/Funny%20and%20Random/wheresmymacandcheese_zpsd437b6c0.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g246/sey115/Photobucket%20Desktop%20-%20Sage%20Youngs%20MacBook/Funny%20and%20Random/wheresmymacandcheese_zpsd437b6c0.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/10/wlc-learning-5-4.html" target="_blank">4. Nutrition is terrible for relationships</a></span></h3>
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<a href="http://www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/the-lion-king-gif1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="195" src="http://www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/the-lion-king-gif1.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/11/wlc-learnings-3-2.html" target="_blank">3. Hermitism</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://reddebtedstepchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/April-gif-330x230.gif?7c4901" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="277" src="http://reddebtedstepchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/April-gif-330x230.gif?7c4901" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><a href="http://berkaanonymous.blogspot.com/2013/11/wlc-learnings-3-2.html" target="_blank">2. I'm a huge control freak</a></span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/7628bed425f7a9581bb385143a87766a/tumblr_mohveuGknJ1qajc4eo1_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/7628bed425f7a9581bb385143a87766a/tumblr_mohveuGknJ1qajc4eo1_250.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="color: #444444;">1. I'm never, ever, ever doing this again</span></h3>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9l2atdXSu1qdzg2co1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #444444;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9l2atdXSu1qdzg2co1_500.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-89714769560555875872013-11-18T14:34:00.002-08:002013-11-18T14:34:55.160-08:00WLC Learnings #3 & #2 Welp, I guess since the winners of the <a href="http://www.edgewater-crossfit.com/whole-life-challenge-2/" target="_blank">Whole Life Challenge were just officially announced</a>, I better hustle and get in my blog post with the final three Whole Life Challenge learnings. Numbers 3 and 2 are here, and I'll post #1 with the complete top 10 list.<br />
<br />
<h4>
WLC Learning #3 - Hermitism</h4>
<br />
It turns out that when you can't drink or really even go out to eat, you relegate yourself to a hermit in the American culture. Sure, sure, there are a finite number of restaurants where you can comply with the WLC without making fast enemies with the wait staff ("Oh, um, soda water actually <i>isn't</i> the same as seltzer water, thanks anyway). However, you friends don't really care to go to those restaurants because you live in Chicago. Deep dish pizza flows like water. Gourmet burgers live on every corner. Specialty donuts, for heaven's sake!<br />
<br />
Some friends show their support with unthinkable acts of kindness. Yes, they'll blow off the craft beer and bacon festival to have a WLC compliant brunch with you (Thanks, Reed, Rich and Abby!). But invitations to fun events drop off because people know you can't enjoy them. Or worse, you get Whole Life Ditched when people back out on plans, deciding they can't possibly accommodate for you.<br />
<br />
You don't help yourself either because you're also Whole Life Depressed, switching between your three-headed monsters, lacking energy and motivation to reach out to other WLC people.<br />
<br />
The end result was that we saved money, lost weight and got healthier. And did it alone.<br />
<br />
<h4>
WLC Learning #2 - I'm a huge control freak</h4>
<div>
<br />
Usually I forget how intense the control freak part of me is because it's channeled into work and working out and whatever freakishness is left I've learned to burry deep within, behind a veil of good old fashioned apathy. If you say you don't care about something enough, you can even convince yourself.<br />
<br />
<div class="" style="clear: both;">
But my control freak came back and punched me in the face when this Whole Life Challenge took away my control. Squabble about whatever control you believe I had all you want. My perception was reality. </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
</div>
The Whole Life Challenge dictated the most foundational of my human needs. When and how I ate, slept, exercised, etc. Rather than making me feel empowered, it took away my power to control these factors myself in the way that I wanted. Couldn't go shopping with a friend because I had to stay home and cook. Denied a late night comedy show because I was mandated 7 hours of sleep. I felt enslaved. Handcuffed to a lifestyle.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-88826835599860076902013-11-06T10:18:00.001-08:002013-11-06T13:11:06.950-08:00Whole Life Challenge In Review<h3>
Sorry guys, sorry. </h3>
<br />
I'm really sorry. I know I let my daily readers down with no immediate grand end post to the Whole Life Challenge. But, you see, I've been a little busy. Eating my face off. Take a look:<br />
<br />
Saturday<br />
<ul>
<li>Breakfast - Guinness and a big stack of chocolate chip pancakes</li>
<li>Lunch - Pequods deep dish pizza w/ sausage and pepperoni</li>
<li>Dinner - 3 soft shell tacos</li>
<li>Roughly 12 hours of drinking</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div>
Sunday</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Brunch - Dunkin Donuts double chocolate donut, a large coffee with extra cream & sugar and a sausage wakeup wrap</li>
<li>Dinner - 1/2 a large Papa John's pizza</li>
</ul>
<div>
Monday</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Breakfast - Omelet (I needed a break)</li>
<li>Lunch - Cocoa Krispies with milk...from a cow, not almonds</li>
<li>Dinner - Portillos large cheese fries with extra cheese and a chocolate cake shake</li>
</ul>
<div>
Tuesday</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Breakfast/Lunch - Fruit and chili (Fearing the unravel of 60 days hard work)</li>
<li>Dinner - 2 giant slices of leftover Pequod's (Screw the hard work)</li>
</ul>
<br /><ul>
</ul>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
So how did I fair?</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'll post the final 3 WLC learnings over the next couple of days, but it feels most appropriate now to share my final reflection as a whole. Since this whole blog has been subjective I've done my best to quantify my results for the review.<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
Baseline measures</h4>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>Weight:</i> Lost 6 lbs</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Waist:</i> Lost 1 inch</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Hips: </i>Lost 1 inch</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Workout: </i>Not. A. Damn. Change. I cannot begin to explain how furious I was. Good thing we had already shattered the mirrors in the gym with barbells long ago, because I may have shattered one with my fist. I of course came down with a helluva cold the night before the retest. Despite knowing that I am in a much better state of physical fitness, it did not come through in my results. </div>
<br />
Points: -14 points total. That's 38 deductions plus 24 blog points.<br />
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
Sentiment Graphing</h4>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Just for you, because I know how invested you are in my Whole Life Journey, I went back and read each blog post to rate my daily sentiment towards the Whole Life Challenge. It's not meant to portray how fit or healthy I felt, but my attitudes and emotions towards the WLC, which literally dictated my mood every single day. In my opinion, it's the most important measure. If I'm not happy, fitness and health don't matter.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGeSnpIH6DskOnOr4yvqcwLdCUdJz0RsZCg-1BxISJLdq3fK0M7DL2wjUewoFqVlU4pXzoYgKSBTtpThcA9i6VWk9flbOHi1q474JHgCInLY5m6Upt48BqBYdxsY9BzI-DbPoVeVHlRwE/s1600/Whole+Life+Challenge+Sentiment.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="WLC Mood" border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGeSnpIH6DskOnOr4yvqcwLdCUdJz0RsZCg-1BxISJLdq3fK0M7DL2wjUewoFqVlU4pXzoYgKSBTtpThcA9i6VWk9flbOHi1q474JHgCInLY5m6Upt48BqBYdxsY9BzI-DbPoVeVHlRwE/s400/Whole+Life+Challenge+Sentiment.png" title="Whole Life Challenge Feelings" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While I'm surprised to see that I was probably trending a little more positive than negative during the second half of the challenge, it's because I allowed myself to cheat more. In any event, my mental and emotional imbalance is clear.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-4879482424066009612013-11-04T09:21:00.000-08:002013-11-04T16:08:13.698-08:00Marriage Is Absolutely For Me<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL1zytFsUyTwbUUAAiZ4sW53h49hDccBOnUiZnLuEidIy_wIMXIrtIAXpt4T6RWIE5l72x-w67qO3ewsPuf0me4okV1b9Zr-R6XinNQxYQTdsFSMm8-LWo7nrH6XKXEToQ73fnWq_F7RA/s1600/i_am_the_bride_about_me_wedding_bachelorette_brida_invitation-r00a2189ad24248fd813cffe5db844513_8dnmv_8byvr_512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL1zytFsUyTwbUUAAiZ4sW53h49hDccBOnUiZnLuEidIy_wIMXIrtIAXpt4T6RWIE5l72x-w67qO3ewsPuf0me4okV1b9Zr-R6XinNQxYQTdsFSMm8-LWo7nrH6XKXEToQ73fnWq_F7RA/s320/i_am_the_bride_about_me_wedding_bachelorette_brida_invitation-r00a2189ad24248fd813cffe5db844513_8dnmv_8byvr_512.jpg" width="320"></a>I'm of the age where my almost married, newly married or wish-they-were married twenty- or thirty-something friends will post sentimental articles about marriage. What it should mean and the terrible atrocity that has apparently come to replace it. Typically the articles are religious, and always they make me want to vomit.<br>
<br>
Today, about 685 of my Facebook friends shared this blog post: <a href="http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/" target="_blank">Marriage Isn't For You</a>. The author explains that in his long-term relationship and early into his ensuing marriage, he was selfish. In the coming of age tale, his father aids in his rite of passage by sharing the revelation that, "Marriage isn't for you." It's for the person you love, it's for your future children, it's for your families.<br>
<br>
While a touching read that warms your heart almost as much as the pumpkin spice latte you're undoubtedly sipping as you read it, I have to disagree.<br>
<br>
<h4>
Marriage is absolutely for me. </h4>
<br>
And I don't mean the bride-centric wedding planning (Although, that's for me, too). I believe that before you can know who you love and how to best love them, you have to take a selfish journey and learn what makes you happy and seek out someone who supports it. Forget the ethereal world of kids you may or may not have, families you may or may not engage in loving relationships with. When shit hits the fan, when all the fluffy, idealistic variables are removed, if your white picket fence happens to burn to the goddamn ground, who do you want standing next to you? Do they know you that you need laughs instead of hugs? Are they onboard with what's important to you not just 10 years from now but 10 minutes from now?<br>
<br>
Without knowing what makes you happy, you'll never find someone you're totally compatible with, and you'll never fill that compatibility void with pure, unadulterated love. That's how people wind up in crappy relationships that their religion tells them they're stuck in. It's why dumb women marry equally dumb men and tolerate mistreatment because he'll probably be a good father some day, or marry into a family for security and stability rather than truly focusing on the individual, only to learn the individual wasn't right for them once the veil of family was stripped away. The "Walmart Marriage" the author refers to blames the easy return policy, when really the issue is the inferior product purchased based on impulsive ideals of happiness.<br>
<br>
For example, if I wasn't aware that I was prone to psychotic, rage-filled, low-blood sugar episodes, I wouldn't know that I needed a fiancé like Matt who can deal with me, because deal with me he must. If Matt didn't know that he needed a fiancée like me who could roll with his unbridled, outrageous humor, his future marriage would be far less fulfilling, and his closet far less full of fanny packs. And if both of us hadn't learned, quite selfishly, from past relationships what makes each of us happy, we would never have found each other.<br>
<br>
You will never be fully happy as a couple if you cannot be happy individually. So my future marriage <i>is</i> for me. Matt's future marriage <i>is</i> for him. And because of that, not in spite of it, our marriage will be for <i>us</i>.<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-12201742266105942302013-10-31T10:34:00.000-07:002013-10-31T11:38:21.484-07:00WLC Learning #5 & #4<h3>
WLC Learning # 5 - Rigid Nutrition Makes You A Beast</h3>
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt0mdpEKpF8pJdMnvj73sDGMM-RDFljyd2_WSvO-8SnpzSktZmdeUeQf_-GBsQV_uXSq4lKRpvDyvImU9Fq12u1pjTfvpu4rbkg9OlFhJ3kIF3rEjZRvK0mRKMCQpTKDeoNmvDbdtHUfw/s1600/hulksmash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt0mdpEKpF8pJdMnvj73sDGMM-RDFljyd2_WSvO-8SnpzSktZmdeUeQf_-GBsQV_uXSq4lKRpvDyvImU9Fq12u1pjTfvpu4rbkg9OlFhJ3kIF3rEjZRvK0mRKMCQpTKDeoNmvDbdtHUfw/s320/hulksmash.jpg" width="320" /></a>I suppose I mean this in the best and worst sense, but mostly the worst. On the positive side, my workouts have probably never been better. I feel better, stronger, faster at the gym. Any work on the bar feels like I've shed a 10 lb weight vest and my lifts feel more explosive.<br />
<br />
Outside of the gym, the Whole Life Challenge turned me into the awful kind of beast. If I wasn't in a blood sugar-crash rage thrashing around my kitchen groping for anything to eat, I was breaking down mentally and emotionally at the feeling of lost control over my whole life, or I was in a Whole Life Zombie emotionless, energy-less state. That's like three monsters in one.<br />
<br />
And I know that I wasn't alone in this beastly transformation, because I had the displeasure of embarking in this hell with my fiancé (whom I love).<br />
<br />
<h3>
WLC Learning #4 - Nutrition Is Terrible For Relationships</h3>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9TDAzzAyF8Pc04Fju4LB4_NIOnCeYpD3fyu7YsciPd1UXAp4iNui6Kvw7lafYGXlIjGOv4F-r6q5jR60zEK6C2DeeAEZJTkOXzGValaswaBstc-FdA853F7M3cD6ivJVf1vurbiEB_mQ/s1600/WHOLE+LIFE+SINGE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9TDAzzAyF8Pc04Fju4LB4_NIOnCeYpD3fyu7YsciPd1UXAp4iNui6Kvw7lafYGXlIjGOv4F-r6q5jR60zEK6C2DeeAEZJTkOXzGValaswaBstc-FdA853F7M3cD6ivJVf1vurbiEB_mQ/s320/WHOLE+LIFE+SINGE.jpg" width="319" /></a>My fiancé (whom I love) and I did our best to support each other during the Whole Life Challenge. Make no mistake that I required much more support than Matt, who is about to win the whole thing. But he, too, experienced the sugar-crash rages and constant zombie state (also a steroidal-level of power, intensity and energy at the gym, a beast of its own variety).<br />
<br />
So we took turns raging out about where our next meal was going to come from, doing our best but often failing to not snap at each other to feed the cats, wash a dish, put away laundry–You know, life-critical things that justify high levels of stress.<br />
<br />
We otherwise would sit motionless and broken on the sofa watching TV, not talking to each other, with barely enough energy to rise and shuffle ourselves to bed to crash to sleep.<br />
<br />
Matt was a saint for putting up with my ugly three-headed monster and on more than one occasion I voiced my half-joking concern that this Whole Life Challenge would cause him to break up with me.<br />
<br />
On his good days, Matt would feel amped and talk about wanting to continue the Whole Life Challenge after it ends. That will not be happening.<br />
<br />
Cumulative Deductions: 38<br />
<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-44228307572390680492013-10-30T11:00:00.000-07:002013-10-31T13:57:26.195-07:00Ground Lamb CurryYesterday, during our almost daily ritual of roaming hungry through Jewel scavenging for something fast to make for dinner at 8:00 at night that is Whole Life Challenge approved and that we're not bored to tears of, I decided to free-form my own Mediterranean dish after being inspired by a package of ground lamb.<br />
<br />
It's reminiscent of a curry dish you'd find at an Indian or Mediterranean restaurant, and I also likened it to a Lamb Vindaloo dish that I love (though not nearly as spicy). It turned out great! I bought some of my fresh veggies pre-cut in steamer bags to cut down on prep time–I was so hungry I would have just as soon diced my left arm.<br />
<br />
Ingredients:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>1 lb ground lamb</li>
<li>1 small-to-medium yellow onion, diced</li>
<li>2 cloves of pressed garlic</li>
<li>2 firm roma tomatos</li>
<li>1 bag of cubed, fresh butternut squash</li>
<li>1 bag of cut, fresh cauliflower</li>
<li>a lot of curry powder</li>
<li>a lot of cumin</li>
<li>a moderate amount of chili powder</li>
<li>a little bit of cayenne pepper powder</li>
<li>a little bit of sea salt</li>
<li>a little bit of pumpkin pie spice</li>
<li>1 T bacon fat</li>
</ul>
<div>
I never measure my spices, but this is a rough ratio. Use each to taste based on your desired flavor mix. Would also be good with some mint leaves.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Instructions:</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Brown lamb in pan with bacon fat, garlic and diced onion over medium-high heat</li>
<li>While lamb is cooking, steam squash and cauliflower in the microwave per the bag's instructions</li>
<li>Combine cooked vegetables and all spices into pan with meat and reduce heat to medium-low</li>
<li>Let simmer for 5 min, stirring frequently</li>
<li>Serve with Terra Original Vegetable Chips and Tribe Classic Hummus</li>
</ol>
<div>
Total prep/cook time: 10-15 min</div>
</div>
Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-4152898571703174392013-10-29T19:38:00.001-07:002013-10-31T13:57:26.192-07:00Paleo Hot ChocolateIt's 9:00 on a cold weekday night. Following an awesome meal (I'll post that recipe next), I had the urge for hot chocolate. <div><br></div><div>So I do what I always do. Throw shit that I have together and pray to Zeus it works. It did! </div><div><br></div><div><b><u>Berka's Whole Life Hot Cocoa</u></b></div><div><br></div><div>• Microwave 6oz of pure almond milk in a mug for 2:45 on medium-high power. I used Califa Farms brand, found in the produce section of Jewel next to the Naked Juice.</div><div><br></div><div>• Slowly stir in roughly:</div><div> - 1 T cocoa powder</div><div> - 1 T cinnamon </div><div> - A pinch of stevia</div><div> - A drop of organic vanilla extract</div><div><br></div><div>If you have come to this post looking for paleo recipes, surely you understand this is no G<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">hirardelli substitute. But it is a sweet, chocolatey beverage to warm a cool night.</span></div><div> </div>Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-63584653758104390502013-10-29T08:36:00.001-07:002013-10-29T08:38:41.676-07:00WLC Learning #7 & #6<h3>
WLC Learning #7 - I'm Not Actually An Alcoholic</h3>
<br />
OK, let me preface by saying that I was never actually concerned that I was an alcoholic. Drinking, however, is part of the social culture in which I roll, and it's not uncommon for me to drink both weekend nights and one weekday night, especially in the summer in Chicago where patios scream your name.<br />
<br />
I didn't know how I would react to the alcohol abstinence and, given how poorly I was reacting to the deprivation of everything else, anything could happen. But weekends came and went and I really didn't miss the booze. We did allow ourselves two cheat days that centered around the consumption of everything, especially alcohol. The good news is that, while I did feel the effects more quickly, I still managed to avoid the next-day hangovers per the usual. The trick to that, of course, is awesomely greasy food when the night is over. That's the first and most important thing you learn in college, I think.<br />
<br />
While it's great that I validated that I have no dependency on booze, I learned that I am addicted to (what else?) sugar.<br />
<br />
<h3>
WLC Learning #6 - Sugar Is In Literally Everything</h3>
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<br />
You think you don't have a sugar addiction? You're wrong. We all do. Know why? <i>THEY PUT THAT SHIT IN EVERYTHING.</i> I will no longer claim that "I am a grease fiend–Give me pizza over sugar any day."<br />
<br />
I believe I wrote during week one of this Whole Life Challenge that I would have killed a hobo for a cookie and in week two or three chronicled the Candy Corn Affair of 2013. I really had no idea that it was in my marinara sauces, random, unassuming snack foods, and in my bacon. My poor, sweet bacon! Once I took it out of my normal foods, I jonesed hard like I never have before, hiding in dark corners and plotting a raid of the solar skittle machine. The CPG industry has had me addicted to sugar all these years and I hadn't a clue.<br />
<br />
<br />Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-78276471240173995052013-10-28T15:47:00.001-07:002013-10-29T08:47:27.057-07:00WLC Learning #9 & #8<br /><h3>
WLC Learning #9 - Larabars Are God's Gift To The World</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNhyl3O8AQ8v74zutYvxoPs4q8LNzWCsziRfpFgyDBBoJU-b0QO6adwF5QEbwyrkg4RdtJ0F-CSPR53FzjEtclcc2cnU8Tc4ojs1PCXB-z_EnIn8_ie3VKqYf997qCGqlSodcnc7PFC-0/s1600/larabar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNhyl3O8AQ8v74zutYvxoPs4q8LNzWCsziRfpFgyDBBoJU-b0QO6adwF5QEbwyrkg4RdtJ0F-CSPR53FzjEtclcc2cnU8Tc4ojs1PCXB-z_EnIn8_ie3VKqYf997qCGqlSodcnc7PFC-0/s1600/larabar.jpg" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
It's 9:00 on a Wedneaday night. You're starving, staring piteously into a barren fridge with no time or will power to hit the grocery store. The post-workout shakes rattle the cupboards and drawers pulled open in vain until-There! Just there, wedged between the cutting board, oven mits and 8 year old garbage bag ties...one last Larabar! You thought they were gone since you poured them like candy into your bottomless pit of a stomach during the first weeks of Whole Life Starvation.<br /><br />Yes, Larabars are the real winner of this WLC, saving starving souls at work, on business travel, during road trips. You name the diar food situation and the Larabar makes it all better with its datey, nutty, fruity goodness.<br /><br />But why are these little nuggets of goodness necessary? Well, it's because:<br /><br /><h3>
WLC Learning # 8 - Americans eat like shit</h3>
<br />I know this isn't news, per se. But the level of awfulness in the American diet was exposed as downright abysmal by WLC standards.<br /><br />I'm not even talking about the obvious fast food offenses. There is no such thing as healthy food in a pinch, except for raw fruits and veggies, nuts and the Larabar. You think those plantain chips will be acceptable road trip food? Sorry sister, has sugar. Switch it up with a Kind bar? Honey. There is basically not a single packaged food that you can pick up and eat from the grocery store that is WLC approved.<br /><br /><br />It's truly maddening. Why can't we just stop loading our food up with crap? It's shocking how difficult it is to eat clean, and I'm not even including grassy-fed or organic meats in this equation. <br /><br />Your options are to:<br /><ul>
<li>Spend a whole paycheck at Whole Foods, be broke, and spend your whole life cooking</li>
<li>Spend less money but significantly more frustration at a regular grocery store, be a little less broke, and still spend your whole life cooking</li>
</ul>
Doesn't that sound fun?Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-5207747526956930722013-10-24T05:57:00.000-07:002013-10-24T06:45:04.622-07:00WLC Learning #10<h3>
Whole Life Challenge Learning #10 - Business Makes You Fat</h3>
<br>
Friends, at this point, you know what I eat, that I CrossFit, that I'm a cheating, lying son-of-a-bitch and intimately how I feel about this WLC. For these final 10 days, I'm instead going to share my top 10 Whole Life Challenge Learnings. Beginning with...<br>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
<h4>
#10) Business Makes You Fat</h4>
</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
It's a wonder that every American business person doesn't weigh 300lbs. As I write this, I just arrived back to my hotel room following the kick off reception of a conference. A healthcare conference, to be exact. At this <i>healthcare</i> conference, I stood in an exhibit hall for three hours full of people munching on buffet tables of fried food and buzzing around the several bars with not 1, but 5 free drink tickets. </div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
I pregamed this event with a salad which allowed me to mostly stay away from the buffet table. As it ended, I emerged proud and triumphant for having maintained self control and sticking to my plan. Feeling finally free of temptation and slinking away to my room, I passed a crowd of conference-goers convening in a post-reception room full of free pizza, s'mores and booze whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Snap back to reality and I see it's not the food beconing me, but a client prospect.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
"You're having some s'mores with us, right!?" she coaxed cheerfully, </div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
"For sure! I'll stop in for a bit," I internally crumbled. I made a quick lap, never looking a marshmallow or pepperoni in the eye, and shuffled desperately back to my room to get my 10 in pathetic minutes of exercise.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
So goes business conferences, and I endured 2 during the course of the Whole Life Challenge. Business networking centers around unhealthy behaviors - happy hours, networking dinners, appetizers, baked good smorgasbords disguised as "coffee breaks." And don't forget the travel food and lack of time for any physical activity.<br><br>You think you're safe at the office, and you're wrong. You eat your feeble reheated lunch and are forced to combat birthday bagels and donuts, leftover sweets from client meetings, catered in deep dish pizza and a god-forsaken solar candy machine that only requires you to cast a godamn shadow for a hand full of Skittles, M&Ms or the candy de jour. I hate that candy machine. We are not friends.<br>
<br>
Cumulative Deductions: 32<br>
<br>
<br></div>
Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-36274341533775237432013-10-23T10:51:00.000-07:002013-10-23T20:21:24.175-07:00Whole Life Challenge Day 46<h3>Tuesday, October 21st</h3>
<br>
<h4>
<u>1) What did you consume?</u></h4>
<br>
A banana, a small chicken salad, almonds, a pumpkin bar, an apple, and fake nachos (sweet potato chips, shredded chicken tossed in Frank's hot sauce, refried beans, onions, guacamole and salsa)<br>
<br>
<h4>
<u>2) Were you active and what did you do?</u></h4>
<br>
Tough Times with Tommy was at it again and we all got schooled on proper pushup form while blasting really terrible music. We got on Tommy about his music about more than usual. Tommy was not pleased. Tougher Times with Tommy ensued.<br>
<br>
<h4>
<u>3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge?</u></h4>
<br>
Yes.<br>
<br>
<h4>
<u>4) Did you cheat/lie?</u></h4>
<br>
Gum and 4 Skittles. Its not my fault that Skittles just tend to fall out of the solar dispenser once a day when I walk by...<br>
<br>
<h4>
<u>5) How do you feel?</u></h4>
<br>
Halloween has fast crept upon us and, for women under 30, that usually means organizing costumes once fitting only for cable TV. All TV is trashy now, so that analogy no longer works. In a moment of panic last night, I realized that I had forgotten my annual tradition of starving myself the week before in feeble efforts to shed any last-minute pounds.<br>
<br>
Fortunately, it dawned on me that, thanks to this Whole Life Challenge, my fasting needs are not nearly as dire as in previous years. Oh, there will be starvation, make no mistake. Starvation and self-loathing wrapped up in a package called <i>dysmorphia</i>. That's how most 20-something women roll on Halloween.Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-38815271497745361882013-10-22T14:55:00.000-07:002013-10-22T15:07:30.820-07:00Whole Life Challenge Day 45<h3>
Monday, October 21st</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<h4>
<u>1) What did you consume?</u></h4>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The banana, too many pumpkin bars, some almonds, a barbacoa salad from Chipotle and a scrambled egg.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<h4>
<u>2) Were you active and what did you do?</u></h4>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yes, I went to CrossFit and worked out with mediocre performance. But I realized that I forgot to brag (let's call a spade a spade) about having done 55 strict pull-ups during the WOD on Friday–A huge accomplishment for me. Basically it's like I've taken off a 10lb weight vest. All bar work feels exponentially easier.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Still not worth it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<h4>
<u>3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge?</u></h4>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yes, by my own standards.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<h4>
<u>4) Did you cheat/lie?</u></h4>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Gum and Skittles</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<h4>
<u>5) How do you feel?</u></h4>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Feeling OK. But let's talk for a second about how awesome my dad is. Everyday, as I've said before, he brings me a banana, a bag of almonds and usually some additional fruit. The fruit always disappears, but I learned early into the challenge that eating too many nuts was giving me headaches. However, I always gladly and thankfully accept his food gifts for two reasons:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Never, ever turn down free food. Ever.</li>
<li>It's a really nice reminder of why I am doing the Whole Life Challenge and the amazing people in my life who support me everyday.</li>
</ol>
<div>
The end result, however is the absolutely hilarious amount of almonds in my desk drawer. Probably a gallon spread across a bevy of ziplock bags:</div>
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Rest assured these almonds will be eaten. And probably my dad will read this (thanks, Dad!) and decide tomorrow morning that maybe I don't need anymore almonds, per se. But those little bags of almonds and I have been through some hard times (First World problems), and I appreciate my family's support, since I know not everyone has that luxury (real talk).<br />
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Cumulative Deductions: 31<br />
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2682635828500550282.post-57253578304023282372013-10-21T12:01:00.002-07:002013-10-31T13:57:26.199-07:00Whole Life Challenge Days 42-43-44<h3>
Second to Last Weekend in Hell</h3>
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<u>1) What did you consume?</u></h4>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAyxfRk93UyAkauY-7_KU0Bq0c9Ky4U9DuZRUwAGAg-tSXfcKNas1ZHnAng6MZFfUV432erI4-G6bqB96jOSVGEP1D6_ttxcYq84AKPYNZHyM-7CiusvcbC-F-sxCUqxs7zzECBHi9PU/s640/blogger-image--732108732.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAyxfRk93UyAkauY-7_KU0Bq0c9Ky4U9DuZRUwAGAg-tSXfcKNas1ZHnAng6MZFfUV432erI4-G6bqB96jOSVGEP1D6_ttxcYq84AKPYNZHyM-7CiusvcbC-F-sxCUqxs7zzECBHi9PU/s320/blogger-image--732108732.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #990000; font-size: small;"><span style="text-align: start;">Scroll to bottom for recipe for</span><br style="text-align: start;" /><span style="text-align: start;">Berka's Baked Good Frenzy Pumpkin Bars</span></span></i></td></tr>
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I ate clean all weekend except for dessert at a family BBQ on Saturday. It included one of my future mother-in-law's pumpkin cupcakes and 2 s'mores (you can't have just one, as anyone who's seen The Sandlot knows). I'm grouping this cheat together as a combo dessert for 1 point deduction. If I had gone to I restaurant and ordered some slice of 5-layer chocolate cake with ice cream or something, that would only be a point. I'm merely adjusting for scale.</div>
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As far as supplements, I took the usual fish oil on Friday, vitamin D on Sunday, and on Saturday...Zyrtec.</div>
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Sunday night after dinner I scavenged the fridge for a piece of fruit to no avail. In a calm fit of desperation, I pulled out my food processor and set out to make something sweet and delicious with only ingredients available in my meager kitchen. Unbelievably, it worked. Scroll to the bottom for the recipe.<br />
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<h4>
<u>2) Were you active and what did you do?</u></h4>
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Not particularly. I worked out on Friday, but not Saturday or Sunday. I could have definitely found time either day, but I just didn't feel like it. I also didn't get mobility in on Sunday. Meh.</div>
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<h4>
<u>3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how do you feel?</u></h4>
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The new lifestyle challenge is to spend 10 minutes a day doing "something you love." How touching. Clearly this is a challenge, like every other aspect of this challenge, programmed for people who don't work demanding full time jobs in Chicago. I wake up, commute about 2 hours round trip, work 8+ hours, hit the gym, scramble to find food to cram in my face at 8:30 or 9:00 at night, sleep and repeat. The WLC wants me to what, knit from 10:00-10:10PM? Learn how to play guitar in all my spare time? I'm counting my blogging for this because I enjoy writing and I've no time to add anything else.</div>
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<u>4) Did you cheat/lie?</u></h4>
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I'm deducting 7 points for the weekend–4 for workouts missed, 2 for mobility missed, and 1 for dessert on Saturday. However, I did also have 3 Skittles, 3 chocolate chips and 1 dark chocolate Hershey's kiss. Meh.<br />
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Also, those of you who think an extra Zyrtec can't count as as a supplement, you obviously don't have allergies like I do. And if that's not good enough, then I will propose my blood pressure medication as an alternative. But you'll allow one of them, and you'll like it.<br />
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<u>5) How do you feel?</u></h4>
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It's getting even harder to follow the Whole Life Challenge as it's winding down. I'm feeling more defiant and even my fiancé pointed out my slippage. Which, for all the fiancés keeping track out there, does not earn you brownie points. Mostly because the brownies don't exist. There are no brownies.<br />
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But really, it was appropriate that we took a road trip to central Illinois both at the beginning and end of this challenge. It didn't get easier. There was still nothing sufficient to eat on the road except for fruit and nuts, which still annoyed me to the core.<br />
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Cumulative Deductions: 31<br />
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<h4>
<u>Berka's Baked Good Frenzy Pumpkin Bars</u></h4>
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<ul>
<li>36 oz whole pitted dates</li>
<li>~ 1/2 c canned pumpkin </li>
<li>~ 2 T pumpkin pie spice</li>
<li>3 eggs</li>
</ul>
<ol>
<li>Blend dates until they become as smooth as possible .</li>
<li>Slowly add in pumpkin and allow to blend with dates thoroughly.</li>
<li>Add eggs and pumpkin pie spice, blend thoroughly. Batter should feel like really soft cookie dough or really thick brownie.</li>
<li>Spread evenly across a 9 x 13 cookie sheet (I greased mine in coconut oil) and bake at 325 for 15-18 minutes</li>
<li>Allow to cool and cut in to desired sized bars</li>
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The final consistency is like a lemon bar - Thin, a little gooey, and delicious.</div>
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Christy Berka Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13736552202988349558noreply@blogger.com0