Whole Life Challenge Days 21-22-23

What did you consume?

I dove head first off the wagon due to my catastrophic mental and emotional state. I knew I was an emotional eater, but sheesh. I don't understand why this diet is making me feel constantly angry or on the verge of tears. So, this weekend I had a Philly cheesesteak wrap, curly fries and a cookies n' cream Molly's Cupcake.


Sunday I had a work conference. For those of you unfamiliar with marketing conferences, they revolve exclusively around food and drink. It's rude to invite a client out for a drink and not have one yourself. Or out to pizza at their request and be the only one with salad as the rest of the table shares pies. So yesterday, at the beginning of an annual marketing conference, I had 1 drink, 1 serving of pizza and 1 serving of no-no appetizers. This is how the next two days will go as we'll but, since I was going to totally quit this challenge on Friday, I care not at all.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes, full exercise and mobility points over the weekend.

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle challenges and how do you feel?

Yes. Shitty.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Minus 6 points this weekend. Ate some questionable-okay, illegal, sweet potato chips with cane sugar juice and I'm not counting it because at least it wasn't another cupcake.

5) How do you feel?

Emotionally fragile. "We'll just don't do the WLC," you recommend and my fiancé pleaded. But that's not an option.

Not only do I refuse to fail at this but I can't allow myself to cheat willy-nilly like a lot of other people are doing. That's not a challenge. It's not a Whole Life Balance program. Also, my fiancé is really serious about it, is first place in our gym and top 50 in the world. Like it or not, I'm along for the ride. I'll engage in serious self-loathing if he's killing this and I can't go a weekend without food therapy.

Whole Life Challenge Day 20

Thursday, September 27th

1) What did you consume?

An omelet with bacon and veggies, a bowl of fruit, a banana, >2 handfuls of almonds, and and awesome plate of "nachos" with veggie chips, spicy chicken, black beans, salsa and guacamole. It was fast and easy for a change.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes - Went to CrossFit and did a little bit of mobility.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how did it feel?

Yes, and I woke up exhausted.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

The bacon in my omelet should cost me a point, but I get it so infrequently, and it was so necessary mentally, that I'm not docking a point. It's just a tablespoon worth of bacon. Get over it.

5) How do you feel?

I'm emotionally volatile. A ticking time bomb. I feel like this:

Not the excited, scared or addicted to caffeine pills part, but the generally swift to collapse into blubbering idiocy (see definition here). If I keep it up I may not have a fiancé to speak of anymore.

I'm vehemently resentful of the lifestyle changes, especially those that are unnecessary. "Hey, let's be social and engage in a non-drinking activity with a friend we haven't seen in a while" is immediately followed by "Ooh, but how are we going to get a workout in (having already gone to CrossFit 3 days in a row)?" 

We'll you know what, Whole Life Challenge? My hips and shoulders are gassed from an intense 3 day cycle that followed an intense 5 day cycle, I've been working out regularly, and you can take your 10 minutes and shove it.

Methinks the toll on my mental and emotional well being may not be worth the physical benefits of the WLC, which mostly I haven't seen yet anyway.

Cumulative points lost: -4

Whole Life Challenge Day 19

Wednesday, September 26th

1) What did you consume?

The banana, a handful of almonds, chicken, cauliflower hash, a larabar, 2 hard boiled eggs, and a little bit of a taco salad/bowl from Flacos Tacos that I gave most of to my ravenous, grumpy fiancé (it was his turn to low-blood sugar rage).

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes, I went to CrossFit and did minimal mobility.

3) Did you cheat/lie?

I had a another forkful of apple pie and 5 pieces of candy corn. I know, I know–I'm sliding. I'll dock a point to teach myself a lesson. (Here is what I just deleted in a moment of good conscience: "I'm not docking a point, but I won't do it again. I promise.")

4) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how did it feel?

I slept a full 7 hours and am still tired as always.

5) How do you feel?

Conversations like these are what my life has come to:

I stepped on the scale yesterday, granted a different one than I weighed-in on at the start of the challenge, and without adjusting for scale variance, I've lost 8 lbs. And I don't even care. As a former weight-obsessed anorexoid, if that's not representative of my mentality towards this challenge, I don't know what is.

In other news, I forgot to record yesterday's points and apparently the points that I did record for the day before also didn't register, either due to the second confirmation screen or my ADHD at work. So, I'm pretty much altogether abandoning tracking my score on the WLC website. I don't know why they impose such rigid time constraints anyway. Instead, I will be tracking my points lost on this blog. I am also giving myself all 24 bonus points available throughout the challenge for journaling because, obviously, I'm keeping up with that. Currently I am at -4 points. Bonus points will be applied at the end.

Whole Life Challenge Day 18

Tuesday, September 24th

1) What did you consume?

A banana bread Larabar for breakfast, some chicken and cauliflower hash for lunch, a small bowl of fruit in the afternoon, a handful of nuts pre-workout and shredded beef on a fried egg with veggie chips and guacamole. A textbook day. Minus the forkful of apple pie...

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Good lord, I was active enough for two days. I ran just under two miles to CrossFit. It was truly "Tough Times With Tommy," our motto for when a particular coach is leading us. We did easily 20 minutes of hip and shoulder mobility. Then we did Super Grace, which is 30 squat clean and jerks for max load in a 15 minute cap. So at the end, your score is reps x weight.

THEN just for a "cool down" exercise, we rowed 2000 meters, stopping every 500 meters to do 10 strict pull-ups. Real "cool."

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how does it feel?

Yes, but my body wants more sleep than 7 hours, which is really needy and selfish of it. It's going to be grateful for what's is given and it's going to like it.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

A forkful of apple pie and gum. No points deducted.

5) How do you feel?

I'm finally feeling a little better today–It's definitely easier on weekdays to comply with the WLC and not think so much about it. I also felt great because my workouts really affect my mood and fortunately I felt awesome about my workouts yesterday. Not only did I feel strong but I sustained a high volume of work over a pretty long time.

The nutrition piece has become a count down to my friends' wedding on October 13th, which is going to be an epic cheat day. I'm already salivating from the level of beautiful gluttony that will take place. I hope Sarah and John (bride and groom to be) have planned for an adequate amount of cake. And by adequate, I mean a whole second one for me.

I've seen people's Whole Life Challenge reflections where they are proud of achieving a "perfect cheat day" where they lost all 5 nutrition points, but not a point more. Their pride is shameful. How dare they waste a cheat day by using only 5 points. Once you spend the 5, you can't dip negative for the day, so
for the love of god, KEEP GOING. Let's not be all "noble" about it. You're only hurting yourselves.

Whole Life Challenge Day 17

Monday, September 23rd

1) What did you consume?

A Larabar, too many nuts again, a barbacoa salad from Chipotle, a banana, some grapes and pumpkin pancakes.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Not much aside from the commute walk and stretching for maybe 2 minutes. But I'm giving myself full activity points because I'm Whole Life Bitter.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how do you feel?

Yes. This one is easy because I usually get 7 hours of sleep anyway. I unintentionally abandoned the volume of water I was drinking for the last challenge and feel dehydrated. Will pick that back up.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Yes. I had a forkful (not 3!) of delicious apple pie from our office's senior art director/master baker. Not counting it. It was a cheat for flavor not for substance. And believe me, you'll know when I cheat for substance.

I also just realized, though I guess it should have been obvious, that the coffee brewed at work, which is sometimes French Vanilla or Hazelnut, is an illegal substance due to the natural flavors used in the grounds. Oh well, #CantStopWontStop. I will just lead myself to believe that the fine people at Dunkin' Donuts grind their coffee with fresh, organic vanilla beans and hazelnuts...and also glazed chocolate donuts. That's a flavor. And I want it.

5) How do you feel?

Whole Life Challenge Days 14-15-16

The Second Full Weekend in Hell

1) What did you consume?

Generally more of the same–Larabars, nuts, fruit, meat and vegetables. Sampled some WLC approved dishes from friends including baked plantains, mashed cauliflower and bacon wrapped dates (yum).  I also remembered to take supplements over the weekend.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Yes, I did CrossFit all three days. On Sunday, the gym coordinated a special workout in a local park for the Whole Life Challenge participants where they gave out some awards to help motivate people through the challenge. I won the anti-spirit award.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle objective and how do you feel?

The new lifestyle objective is to get 7 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period. So, I'm confused. Do they want me to stay up all night cooking and cleaning to comply with the nutrition rules, or do they want me to sleep heartily?

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Yes. Apparently 3 truly is a magic number, yes it is. I can sing the rest of that song for you because I was in School House Rock Live Jr, the musical, in high school. Real cool kid. Real cool. 

I say that because I'm letting myself get away with cheating in quantities of 3 without docking a point. As if that's enough for me to feel at peace with the lie. For example, what's 3 pieces of candy corn (again), or surely I can consume just 3 regular Scoops tortilla chips to eat this guacamole before I switch over to veggies (whoops). It's enough for me to get the flavor of what I'm craving while enabling me to make anyone calling me out feel foolishly oppressive. 

I really don't feel bad about these antics. It's enough for me to get over my FOMO syndrome (fear of missing out) without truly cheating. I mean, otherwise everyone would know how good the candy corn tastes but me–Not fair. What if this batch of Scoops tastes different and somehow better than the last time?

I tried to cheat & dock a point with this little number 

in an apex of rage. Sold out. Such was my weekend.

5) How do you feel?

Like this:

This weekend, Sunday in particular, was terrible. Aside from assigning it the pseudonym the "No Life Challenge," where we do things like play Yahtzee while other people get to do things like drink and be merry (Jerks. I'm looking at you Alex N.), I felt like crap all day Sunday. Cloudy, tired, headachy–Once again feeling hungover without the fun that should precede it.

Whole Life Challenge Day 13

Thursday, September 19th

1) What did you consume?

The usual suspects for breakfast/snacks. The pumpkin cookies in my office we're replaced (consumed by normal people with their human right to eat whatever they goddamn please) with candy corn.

I admit that I had 3 morsels of candy corn, and high fructose corn syrup never tasted so good. But I immediately stopped myself and turned to my chicken and baby kale salad that I brought for lunch. It tasted really earthy. I'd prefer it tasted like high fructose corn syrup. Capped the day off with shredded beef and egg and sweet potato and beet chips.

2-3-4) Activity, Lifestyle, Cheating?

Worked out and badly ripped my hand doing toes-to-bar. Drank water. Cheated with candy corn and docked no points because it was only three pieces.

5) How do you feel?

Jesus-It's only day thirteen? This Whole Life Challenge is abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous. All I do is cook and clean and cook and clean. I'm waiting for someone to call "Cinderella!!" to me out of the shadows. I'm a slave to this lifestyle after 12 hour days and there is no time to relax or wind down when I get home. It's not that I have a problem with the food I'm eating. It's fine. It's just that it takes quadruple the time to produce and clean and doesn't taste nearly as good as the store bought stuff. Any Paleo-ite who tries to tell you that it all tastes better is full of shit. And deep down they know it.

Last night, the fiancé–who has a name, and it's Matt–and I were cooking because, what else is new? Anyone who has met me for 5 seconds would not be surprised that I don't have a homemaker's kitchen. So there we were, huddled in our kitchen alcove with minimal counter space, 1 outlet, 2 food processors, ingredients for 2 recipes and 0 dishwashers. We were bumping into each other with every move. Shit was falling off the counters.

When we finally finished cooking by 11:30PM, my kitchen looked like a hurricane had hit it. Cocoa powder sprayed across the counter. Jalapeño seeds on the floor. Dirty dishes everywhere. We began the cleaning process and I seared my freshly ripped hand with every dish washed. Occasionally even yelping in pain. On one such occasion, I dropped a glass baking dish with a loud crash into the sink. Thankfully it didn't break, but I did. Unless the remaining few dishes were going to get cleaned with the pure venom I was spewing, they were staying dirty overnight.

As we're turing in, Matt said, "You already look like you're leaning-out."

"Really? Thanks," I mumbled.

"Does that make it worth it?" he tried.

"Not at all."