Whole Life Challenge Days 42-43-44

Second to Last Weekend in Hell

1) What did you consume?

Scroll to bottom for recipe for
Berka's Baked Good Frenzy Pumpkin Bars

I ate clean all weekend except for dessert at a family BBQ on Saturday. It included one of my future mother-in-law's pumpkin cupcakes and 2 s'mores (you can't have just one, as anyone who's seen The Sandlot knows). I'm grouping this cheat together as a combo dessert for 1 point deduction. If I had gone to I restaurant and ordered some slice of 5-layer chocolate cake with ice cream or something, that would only be a point. I'm merely adjusting for scale.

As far as supplements, I took the usual fish oil on Friday, vitamin D on Sunday, and on Saturday...Zyrtec.

Sunday night after dinner I scavenged the fridge for a piece of fruit to no avail. In a calm fit of desperation, I pulled out my food processor and set out to make something sweet and delicious with only ingredients available in my meager kitchen. Unbelievably, it worked. Scroll to the bottom for the recipe.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Not particularly. I worked out on Friday, but not Saturday or Sunday. I could have definitely found time either day, but I just didn't feel like it. I also didn't get mobility in on Sunday. Meh.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge and how do you feel?

The new lifestyle challenge is to spend 10 minutes a day doing "something you love." How touching. Clearly this is a challenge, like every other aspect of this challenge, programmed for people who don't work demanding full time jobs in Chicago. I wake up, commute about 2 hours round trip, work 8+ hours, hit the gym, scramble to find food to cram in my face at 8:30 or 9:00 at night, sleep and repeat. The WLC wants me to what, knit from 10:00-10:10PM? Learn how to play guitar in all my spare time? I'm counting my blogging for this because I enjoy writing and I've no time to add anything else.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

I'm deducting 7 points for the weekend–4 for workouts missed, 2 for mobility missed, and 1 for dessert on Saturday. However, I did also have 3 Skittles, 3 chocolate chips and 1 dark chocolate Hershey's kiss. Meh.

Also, those of you who think an extra Zyrtec can't count as as a supplement, you obviously don't have allergies like I do. And if that's not good enough, then I will propose my blood pressure medication as an alternative. But you'll allow one of them, and you'll like it.

5) How do you feel?

It's getting even harder to follow the Whole Life Challenge as it's winding down. I'm feeling more defiant and even my fiancé pointed out my slippage. Which, for all the fiancés keeping track out there, does not earn you brownie points. Mostly because the brownies don't exist. There are no brownies.

But really, it was appropriate that we took a road trip to central Illinois both at the beginning and end of this challenge. It didn't get easier. There was still nothing sufficient to eat on the road except for fruit and nuts, which still annoyed me to the core.

Cumulative Deductions: 31

Berka's Baked Good Frenzy Pumpkin Bars

• 36 oz whole pitted dates
• ~ 1/2 c canned pumpkin 
• ~ 2 T pumpkin pie spice
• 3 eggs

1. Blend dates until they become as smooth as possible .
2. Slowly add in pumpkin and allow to blend with dates thoroughly.
3. Add eggs and pumpkin pie spice, blend thoroughly. Batter should feel like really soft cookie dough or really thick brownie.
4. Spread evenly across a 9 x 13 cookie sheet (I greased mine in coconut oil) and bake at 325 for 15-18 minutes
5. Allow to cool and cut in to desired sized bars

The final consistency is like a lemon bar - Thin, a little gooey, and delicious.

Whole Life Challenge Day 39

Tuesday, October 16th

1) What did you consume?

Didn't eat much because work was so busy. I had a Larabar, a banana (I think), an apple, 1/2 of a chicken breast and, for dinner, a small steak fajita salad.

We also found pure almond milk at Jewel the other day in the produce section near the Naked Juice. I had some of that mixed with a little cinnamon and stevia and it tasted kind of like horchata, though didn't blend very well.

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Sometimes a good workout is just the cure for a bad day and last night was no exception. 

3) Did you complete the lifestyle objective and how did it feel?

I perused some articles on the interwebs, now someone please tell me where that goes on my time sheet.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Gum.

5) How do you feel?

I feel like we're finally nearing the home stretch. Which is a terrible place to be, actually. It's like when you're running a race and nice volunteers who think they're helping tell you that the finish line is "just around the corner" but really it's a mile away. So you let it all out of your tank to kick towards the finish only to exhaust yourself half a mile later in front of another group of volunteers bidding you just around another corner.

Cumulative Deductions: 24

Whole Life Challenge Day 12

Wednesday, September 18th

1) What did you consume?

A veggie omelet, a banana, a Larabar a handful of nuts and a shredded beef salad. I also thought it would be okay to dock a point to have a delicious pumpkin spice cookie that our office's senior art director/master chef brought into work (thanks, Linda!). The universe repaid me by making me forget to record my score for the day prior. Ugh.

2) We're you active and what did you do?

AMRAP laundry and cleaning house for ~4 hours. Scored 5 loads, 1 bag full of shoes to donate and a 1/2 reorganized kitchen. I'm definitely counting it.

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle objective?

Barely squeaked by today, but I did it.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

For the balsamic dressing I made for the salad, I needed a couple cloves of garlic. I was too in a hurry to win my laundry WOD that I used the stuff in a jar, which has phosphoric acid. It's such a small quantity I didn't count it (nor did I tell my WLC-militant fiancé-Whoops). But I'm sure I could definitely score some phosphoric acid somewhere, put it in my cooking cabinet, and make the whole thing legal. That's how this works right? As long as it's in your cabinet? I'll find some sodium nitrate while I'm at it to legalize my bacon.

I think I also chewed gum.

How do you feel?

I am super annoyed that I've now missed 2 days of full points. So now the cookie I ate is 3/22 points to makeup, and I'll never recover to full points, which I otherwise could have accomplished. "Christy, that's not the point of this," you say. Don't care. This is a competition that I paid $50 for, and I'd prefer not to be such a screw-up. Oh well, I guess.

I've hit a bit of plateau in fat-loss and just feeling fitter. Probably because due to the bevy of  nuts I've been consuming. I feel confident that it will resume at some point, though, and I don't feel any worse. Except for the mental anxiety of not getting points, which is stupid, like this Challenge. It's stupid. Everything's stupid. I hate it.

Whole Life Challenge Day 11

Tuesday, September 17th

1) What did you consume?

A veggie omelet, a banana, a Larabar, some grapes, some shredded beef and sweet potatoes  from the crockpot (thankfully, it turned out tasting pretty good) and just a COUPLE nuts. Couldn't help it. I'm addicted and hungry. Is there a program for nut addiction?

2) Were you active and what did you do?

Nancy! My least favorite CrossFit benchmark to-date. I'd rather engage in all forms of medieval torture simultaneously than do Nancy. It's 5 rounds of a 400m run and 15 overhead squats at 65#. Due to my defective face, which also gives me defective shoulder mobility, I feel like I'm squatting in slow motion to maintain stability. Also, I suck and running. And I'm a baby. I PR'ed by a minute and a half, but that's kind of like being the skinniest kid at fat camp.

3) Did you complete the lifestyle challenge?

Yes.

4) Did you cheat/lie?

Those couple of nuts felt like cheating because I had sworn them off after two days of hangovers. And I chewed gum. It was strawberry kiwi flavored and I'm not sorry–I'm playing nut defense over here. You gotta make sacrifices.

5) How do you feel?

Even though my time is only approaching respectable, the PR on Nancy felt good. Also, I learned how to clime a rope for the first time ever! A huge former fat kid victory!! (No, really obese little girl, you have to try once...Hmm maybe just the sit and reach for you, then).

Truth be told, either of those things could have happened sans the WLC, but it certainly didn't hurt. I'd say the level of vomit creeping into the back of my throat during Nancy decreased roughly 60%, which I can probably attribute to the WLC. It's motivation to move on either way.

Whole Life Challenge Day 6

Thursday, September 12th

What did you consume?

The banana, a barbacoa salad from Chipotle, a handful of almonds, a handful of grapes, a handful of cashews (Shut up–I have small hands!) and, for dinner, delicious hot wings and a sweet potato with butter and cinnamon.

Were you active and what did you do?

It was an off-day for CrossFit so I walked extra briskly during my commute. It's roughly a 2 mile round trip and is definitely more than 10 minutes. I also rolled out my back on our new rumble roller (ouch!) and did a little PT for my jaw/neck/shoulder. I'm learning that a benefit of forcing myself to do mobility is that I wind up doing the PT I'm supposed to do everyday, which dramatically reduces my chronic pain, but I'm such a lazy, worthless human that I usually skip the PT and just grin and bear it.

Did you complete the weekly lifestyle challenge and how does it feel?

Yes - I'm on autopilot for the water and it seems like my body has adjusted to monsoon season.

Did you cheat/lie?

I can't remember if I chewed gum, so let's just assume I didn't. The chicken that I bought for dinner from Aldi, which was probably definitely horse meat anyway (slow clap for Aldi), had a label that read "minimally processed" and "natural flavors." And I was like "Hell no, self. You've got to be better than than that. Walk over to that farm next door and get the grass-fed good stuff." Then, I remembered that I live in Chicago, there is no farm next door and I was hungry urgently, so I picked up the chicken and b-lined to the checkout. No points deducted because, come on.

How do you feel?

Office Torture, Part Zwei

Some more office fun today. Our Creative Director sent out an invite for our office to lunch at the Berghoff's Oktoberfest across the street, which is always delicious and festive. He included fun body copy in the invite, but it didn't phase me nearly as much as the cookies. I think the mid-week panic I felt is subsiding and I'm feeling pretty good overall.

Whole Life Challenge: Day -3

This photo is part of the series I call "End of Days"

Wednesday, September 4th

1) What did you consume today?

Today, I savored a Pumpkin Spice Latte in the AM with a banana, had a bacon, date and goat cheese empanada and Boathouse protein shake for lunch, and pizza and chips and guac for dinner.

2) We're you active today? What did you do?

Yep. Went to CrossFit for 15 minutes of goat training (5 toes to bar, 5 push-ups every minute). The metcon was 2 rounds for time of 500 m row and 25 burpees. 

During the warm up run I expressed that I  can't wait to lose 20 pounds so I can run faster and maybe finally get a muscle up. My friends laughed at me and said that's not how this WLC is going to work for me. I've been scammed! Lied to!

3) Did you complete the weekly lifestyle goal and what did you think?

My lifestyle goal this week is to eat as unhealthfully as possible so as to sandbag myself on the initial weigh-in, measurements and workout and also to indulge in foods I love that I won't be able to eat for 2 months. It's a smashing success.

4) Did you cheat or lie?

N/A

5) How do you feel?

I'm on a total binge-fest of terrible food until this thing starts. I feel like I'm frantically catching up to people who knew they were doing the Whole Life Challenge weeks ago and could better plan or even space out their binging. It's AMRAP junk food for 3 days for me. The high concentration of bullshit food makes me feel awful-like a giant, useless tub of lard. And it's totally worth it. Noodles & Co. tomorrow!

Also I feel bitter that I can no longer drink the Boathouse or similar protein shakes. Someone should really write the manufacturers and tell them how appallingly terrible and unhealthy their product is due to the soy and whey contents. Who do they think they are? McDonalds? Stop killing people, Boathouse.

Whole Life Challenge Accepted

Feel that? It's the chill of frost that's creeping across the landscape of Hell.

See that? We're surrounded piles of untouchable steaming, delicious pepperoni pizza and vats of undrinkable frothy, refreshing craft beer that could provide warmth, happiness and relief from our frigid despair.

So go the damning effects of the 60 day Whole Life Challenge, beginning September 7th. "Stop being so dramatic," you're eye-rolling. But lest you judge too harshly, first look at the detailed rules and this list below of what I'm "allowed" to eat:

Coaxed and reassured by my friends and Fiancé (don't bother coming home) that this isn't so restrictive and there will be plenty of meats, vegetables, sugar-free, non-artificial and non-processed foods to consume, I caved.

"It's OK," I pled with myself, "You'll just chew a ton of gum to trick yourself into thinking you're consuming your usual shitty diet." WRONG. Gum is not allowed in the Whole Life Challenge. Friends suggested I chew on mint leaves. We are not friends anymore (Sorry, Chris).

The way the WLC works is that you receive 5 food points per day and you deduct 1 point for every rule you break. You also earn points through activity, supplements and lifestyle and can makeup lost food points via daily journals.

In anticipation of the mad journaling that will be required for me to get through the WLC, I've decided to revive my blog and post the journals so that everyone can take part in my own personal Hell. To give it some structure, I'll ask myself the same 5 questions everyday based on the WLC categories:

1. What did you consume today? (Nutrition/Supplements)
2. Were you active today and what did you do? (Exercise/Mobility)
3. Did you complete the weekly lifestyle goal and what did you think? (Lifestyle)
4. How do you feel?
5. Did you cheat or lie?

Hope you enjoy and cheers to 2 months of Hell!

Well, not cheers, because fun is strictly prohibited by the WLC. 

High five.