Client Courtships

Client service is a hilarious job. Sure, account directors, supervisors and friends offer strategic direction, diligently manage projects and maintain client budgets. But their primary role is to do everything possible to please their clients. As a result, client relationships become easily comparable to dating or romantic relationships.

Allow me to illustrate. Below are vignettes that might occur in an ordinary day in client service, only inner monologues shall begin with “Dear Diary.”

Budding Relationship

Dear Diary – I feel really energized after grabbing lunch with [client name]. There are so many possibilities and we could really do great things together. Plus, I can’t wait to add him to my book and flash him in front of my friends - It will be great for my reputation! Maybe I can find a way to get an invitation to that function he’ll be at next week…It would be a good excuse to see him again.

Phone call: “Hey, [client name]! It was so great to take time out and meet you for lunch yesterday. I am really excited about the great conversation we had – It feels like we’re really aligned. So, I’m calling because the funniest thing happened. I just found out I will actually be at the same function next week – What a coincidence! If you’re up for it, we should grab a few drinks afterwards! My treat.

Trouble in Paradise

Dear Diary: I hope [client name] is in a good mood today. He’s seemed agitated lately and I don’t know why…I hope it’s not something I did. I’m sure it’s probably not, but maybe I should just call him and ask. But what if it IS me?

Phone call: “[Over-earnest] Good morning – Happy Monday! Listen…I just wanted to check in and see how things are going. Lately, we’ve been so busy that conversations have become shorter and more sparse.  I just want to make sure that you’re getting everything you need from me.  I just think it’s so important for our relationship that we communicate effectively. I want you to know that I am here for you whenever you need me.

On the Rocks

Dear Diary – I’m so sick of fighting about money. He was so mean to me yesterday...almost abusive, and threatened to cut me off entirely! What a jerk. I know that we’re on a budget, but he just has to understand that not everything can be as black and white as he wants it to be.  I just am amazed that he thinks I’m spending so haphazardly. I’m certainly not asking him to splurge, but I refuse to show up with trash – It reflects on me, after all. I have standards.

Phone call: “Hello, [client name].  I’d like to take a few minutes and talk about what happened yesterday. I very much understand that we’re working from a tight budget, and I think it’s healthy for us to talk about it. But, I think would be best if we had sensitive financial conversations in more discreet settings.  I didn’t appreciate you tone yesterday or the way you were aggressive towards me in front of the group. That won’t help us solve anything

I could go on, but I believe I've proved my point. For an alternative perspective on agency-client relationships, check out this video:

Berka Consulting Client Outreach

Dear prospective client,

We here at Berka Consulting, Inc. believe that intelligence makes us smarter. And it is that intelligence we want to apply to your business challenge. By pairing strategic market insights with our associates’ refined business acumen, we can construct a plan to surmount whatever formidable business obstacles stand in your way. Each of our colleagues have years of experience manipulating data to best support whatever approach we’re recommending. No, the data may not lead to the implied conclusions we’re making, but we’re so skilled at skewing the perspectives of third-party viewers, you won’t know the difference.

You undoubtedly face a vast range of complex challenges, and we can help you with all of them. Thankfully, we’ve developed a single tool that we cleverly and methodically force-fit to every single one of them. But don’t worry, it will always seem as if we’ve created a process and solution tailored to your specific needs. And that’s exactly what we want you to think. Each of our associates has received very specialized training in mining seemingly useless data and turning it into what appears to be a well-structured, highly integrated solution.

Furthermore, we at Berka Consulting know that the most important kind of capital is thought capital. And that thought capital can be found in a range of different types of people. But we also know it always makes it better if the “thought capital” also has a pretty face. That’s why we factor physical appearance into all hiring decisions. You can be sure that the team you’ll be collaborating with throughout the rigorous analysis phase makes it easy on both your intellect and your eyes.

We look forward to delivering a customized, data-driven plan to put your business on track. Please direct all business inquiries to cberka2 [at] gmail [dot] com.

Sincerely,
J Scott Berka
Partner
Berka Consulting, Inc