The 3 Truths Behind Starbucks Red Holiday Cups

If you're reading this, you're an idiot. I'm an idiot for having written it. The whole internet are idiots for having entertained this. But here we are, discussing Starbucks controversial holiday cups. Because everybody's doing it. (The Washington Post Uproxx, CNN & Donald Trump, The Atlantic, The New York Times, etc, etc.) And because I'm a sort-of-blogger handcuffed to relevant content who also happens to think this is outrageous.

The controversy is that by rolling out plain red holiday cups this season, rather than holiday designs similar to years past, Starbucks is obviously trying to sanitize Christianity. The real truth of the matter, however is 3-fold.

1) Starbucks obviously still loves Christmas. And by association they are at least symbolically down with Jesus. Not only do they sell a Christmas Blend coffee, which one could argue is more of a commercial than a religious statement, but they sell Advent Calendars. That shit is so Christian I barely remember from my Christian upbringing what it symbolizes. But it's certainly an overt celebration of the looming birth of Christ and more than just a secular-ization of the season.

2) The previous designs really had nothing to do with Christianity. At best, they were Pagan-based or secular holiday representations meant only to evoke holiday cheer, not to hold over your Advent prayer book. (But, as discussed Starbucks has an Advent Calendar just for your Jesus rituals.) So whatever these protesters think has been taken away, never really existed in the first place. If anything, a devout Christian might be pleased that secular and pagan symbols are removed in favor of plain red. 

3) Christians taking up this issue clearly need to work on their definition of sanitizing religions. There are real threats and gruesome examples of religious sanitizing and cleansing throughout the course of history and happening today. The worst cases involve extreme human struggles and death. So maybe reframe your outrage over disposable coffee cups. 

Choose not to patron Starbucks if you want. We won't miss seeing you there. And take your business over to the coffee chain next door. But for the love of white Christian privilege, please shut up about it.